Easily Amazed – Page 84 – This is a weblog that I, Ashley Cooper, began writing in 2003. In 2019 the site crashed. All of the content was saved, but the formatting lost. Please forgive the appearance! You can find current content at www.AshleyPCooper.com

Practice of Play

at integral naked there’s a discussion on Play as Practice. below are some of my thoughts on the subject… of course, i’d love to hear yours!

let’s play! let’s get down in the mud, roll around, get ourselves dirty, and pee in our pants just the tiniest bit from laughing so hard!

let us celebrate this opportunity to share our ideas and stories and opinions and beliefs. let us laugh outloud as we read and write, a smile curling about our lips, the face of confusion or contemplation taking our features for hostages… transforming our bodies into clear expressions of that which is moving through. fully engaged, let us be seduced by the flavors and sounds and textures and magic catching our attention. let us follow our sensations sharing the ground of discovery with our open eyes and curious minds, diving into the deliciousness of Being. oh, yes, let us play.

play is vital. rather than it being something partitioned off as separate from “normal” life, let’s imagine it as a basis of one’s mode of operation. DavidD quotes J.P. Carse:

When we are playful with each other we relate as free persons.

relating in the world as a free person touches a fundamental core of our essence. once tickled at the core, this quality of relating has potential to permeate our thoughts, emotions and actions.

for me, play is the heart of doing. for example, moving through the motions of making cereal for breakfast can be a task to be completed or one can play while making the cereal, engaging in the delight of the present moment — hearing the Fruity Pebbles fall into the bowl, watching the milk pour, feeling that suction as the refrigerator pulls the door close upon being shut, noticing the cereal swishing around as it’s carried to the table. on the surface it all looks the same, and yet the flow of the experience is free and playful, a simple act has become fun. play is the heart that brings action to Life.

It is, in fact, seriousness that closes itself to consequence, for seriousness is a dread of the unpredictable outcome of open possibility. To be serious is to press for a specified conclusion. To be playful is to allow for possibility whatever the cost to oneself. ~J.P. Carse

i really appreciate this line. i wonder, how do you define seriousness? to embrace the Practice of Play, it seems important to recognize when we are not at play, to recognize when seriousness is stealing the show and collapsing possibilities.

as always, it’s a treat to play with you in this world of words and thoughts!

Comments:

Oh wonderful play! whom better to re-educate ourselves is from our own children. just the yesterday ashley, myslef,jared and zoe did just what you said and laughed soooo hard that our tummy’s hurt. the situation arose when i was sitting on floor with zoe coloring,and she accidently marked my arm with the marker. she apologized and on impulse i put a dot on her nose and she giggled. the incident caught jared’s attention, he sat by us and drew on his nose. oh my! then the fun began we all started to color our faces with all different colors,red,green,black, brown and yellow, looking at each other just sent us roaring with laugthter. my husband turned to see what all the laughter was about and just shook his head and told us that we were silly, but i just didnt care as that feeling of laughing sooo much was sooo worth it. i had not laughed like that in a while! then we all got up and looked in the mirror and just fell about the place in fits of laughter. let our kids take us on these wonderful experiences. let them take you by the hand and allow them to show you the countless possibilties of play!
thank you zoe and jared for reminding me how to play! love mom!
maria | 02.21.05 – 1:13 am | #

(big smile)

when do we get to see the picture?

love,
ashley | Homepage | 02.23.05 – 1:29 am | #

in my excitmnet of the moment i forgot! (bummer) but i will remember next time. oh and i forgot to add that they were washable markers (ha)
love,maria
maria | 02.23.05 – 9:58 am | #

Mmm, I’m so glad I stopped by at this happy place for a few minutes this weekend! Here’s some more from the playful genius who is J. P. Carse (I know you like these Ashley):

Surprise causes finite play to end;
it is the reason for infinite play to continue.

To be prepared against surprise is to be trained.
To be prepared for surprise is to be educated.

David
David | 02.27.05 – 4:04 pm | #

i’m so glad you stopped by also, david.

thanks a ton for those quotes, they’ve inspired me to alter a practice of mine. i frequently notice when i get “knocked off track”… when i’m in the flow and then all of a sudden i am not connected anymore. usually i ponder the shift, the cause for the shift, the disruption that has occured in me, the emotion that i may now be stuck on, etc.

my new practice is that i am now first noting that i am surprised… and then i reflect on
how the infinite play can continue from this moment of surprise. that which follows still looks the same in my practice (same questions,
same avenues explored)… but instead of walking into the reflection with the taste of disruption on my toungue, i now walk in with the wonder of surprise in my spirit.
thank you for this gift, david….
ashley | 02.28.05 – 2:18 pm | #

Prayer

i collect prayers.

it first came as quite a surprise to me to feel a rising attraction to prayers and blessings again. i liked prayers in my childhood but lost contact when i became cool. even until several moons ago the thought of prayers had an embarrassing quality to it – or lets say, it made me feel immature.

the arrival and birth of my son brought many changes, inner and outer. and many questions rose to the surface. one of those questions was how to experience god, the one, the source, together with my son. and that gently set my inner prayer wheel in motion again.

then i saw rabbi zalman schachter-shalomi in a short clip say a little prayer, and this changed my perception of praying once more. it was a short petitionary prayer for malka, a young, sick girl, simply spoken with an open heart. the power of this simple prayer eased the way through my barriers and touched my heart. it made me feel quite sad, really, to realize that i neglected something as accessible and beautiful as the power of praying for so long. but this small, simple prayer also let me experience god in the most immediate of ways and sparked a new interest and longing in the art of praying. genuine prayer always involves a personal dimension, along with the intention to go beyond one’s separate self and towards the divine. prayers are thresholds to the ever-present source.

as you know by now i collect prayers and blessings. so, if you have a favorite prayer, one which is close to your heart, one which gives you comfort and lets you connect to the ever-present, please feel free to share!

here is one of my favorites, conceived by an australian cartoonist, poet and writer called michael leunig.

We give thanks for our friends.
We anger each other.
We fail each other.
We share this sad earth, this tender life, this precious time.
Such richness. Such wildness.
Together we are blown about.
Together we are dragged along.
All this delight.
All this suffering.
All this forgiving life.
We hold it together.

WELCOME kojan… what a treat to have you posting here. it is truely a dream come true to have you and maria and patti sharing your hearts and souls here at easily amazed. THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

This line touched me beautifully:
“how to experience god, the one, the source, together with my son.”

it is in the word together that i melt every time i read that line. how to experience god together with another… and how to tailor that experience to who the other is… recognizing the differences and the similarities in experiencing with a small child and a grown adult. i’d love to hear more of what you’ve discovered in this quest and adventure with your son.

and then the image of your inner prayer wheel being gently set in motion… my grinning is as far as i can go in commenting my feeling!

i too was profoundly effected by the prayer for malka clip. for me, however, it was when the rabbi asked to speak to the god in ken… explaining that sometimes it’s easier to connect to the god inside of another, that really struck me. he looked into ken’s eyes and then spoke the simple prayer. it was such a reminder and invitation for me to speak to the god inside of others.

as for favorite prayers. one i say every night (except for the nights i forget) that i particularly enjoy is:

thank you for the gift of breath,
for another day of loving.

my heart lies open
in your divine embrace.

~~~~~~

i too would love to hear some other favorite prayers… from any and every or no tradition.
ashley | Homepage | 02.13.05 – 1:53 am | #

thank you, ashley,
for your light and for your open heart. and thanks for sharing your night prayer, it’s lovely (and finn will like it…)
Kojan | 02.15.05 – 3:14 am | #

what a lovely thing to collect!

one of my favorite prayers lately is the traditional Jewish morning prayer, but i am finding that it is just right for any time i remember to pray, plus the melodies that go along with it are all beautiful:

Modah (women say “modah” men say “modeh”) ani l’fanechah,
melech chai v’kayam
shehechezarta bi nishmati b’chemlah,
raba emunatechah
(loose translation:
I am so thankful to be in Your Presence
Source of life and eternity
You mercifully restored my soul to me
great is Your faith (in me)
christy | Homepage | 02.16.05 – 12:26 am | #

thanks a lot, christy, another beautiful gem to keep the prayer wheel turning!
Kojan | 02.16.05 – 3:04 am | #

kojan, one of my favorite prayers is:
I will arise
and lift my eyes
to see your holyness,
my hope is in your name Lord
my trust is in your name Lord
you are faithfull.
i too thank you for your wonderful post, im with ashley when you speak of including your son in your relationship with God! what a blessing you are!
thank you again,Maria
maria | 02.16.05 – 9:29 am | #

Maria, your so kind, thank you!

May God grant you always…

A sunbeam to warm you,

A moonbeam to charm you,

A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.
Kojan | 02.18.05 – 3:29 am | #

Oh Kojan, how sweet of you!
you lifted up my day!
God bless you,maria
maria | 02.18.05 – 3:38 pm | #

Patterns Shaping Time

Everybody has a passion. For each individual there is at least some activity that once involved in it, time seems to stop. You enter into the flow and an unspeakable sense of order fills your being — as Thomas Arthur says about juggling, “It feels like coming home.” This past month I shape shifted into a roadie, creative consultant, videographer, and spokeswoman for the child’s perspective, touring through British Columbia with Thomas as he performed for elementary and high school students across the province. Encouragement to listen to and follow your patterns, discovering your passions, was among the many treasures glowing in his performance, Patterns Shaping Time: Poetry in Motion.

Thomas entertains and interacts with his audience as a juggler, storyteller, dancer, comedian, science teacher, math teacher, music teacher, illusion aficionado that generously reveals his secrets, and an inspirational role model. One principal noted, “Of all the talented performers that we’ve had come through this school, I’ve never seen anyone touch every single student as you just did.” As an observer amongst the audience, I can attest to the truth in this statement. At the height of the tour, Thomas was reaching out to 1000 children a day for 5 days straight and on some level, each child was affected by his presence. Whether it was through his captivating and awe inspiring juggling and movement, the mystique of the illusions he shared, the opportunity to be on stage and experience rhythm, balance, and juggling, the chance to ask questions and express curiosity, or both the silent and expressed invitations to physically and vocally participate in the show, it appeared that every child was in some moment personally invested and involved in the show. Watching the performance becomes a visceral experience of feeling the sounds, rhythms, and patterns move through space and through one’s own body. Excitement and desire to join and participate (both in one’s seat and on stage) uncontrollably bubbles up in moments of awe, amazement, and inspiration.

Most impressive to me was the various modes of expression that Thomas uses to communicate. The instrument of his human body is optimized to the fullest capacity, illustrating the fluidity of motion and the order of rhythm through his movements, accentuating emotional charges with brightly animated facial expressions, and giving voice and shape to motion and movement through lyrical sounds. On many occasions, Thomas was accompanied by a sign language interpreter. It was fascinating to watch as they seemed to sign not only his words, but his motions and the emotional connotations embedded in his actions. Throughout the performance, Thomas is accompanied with objects such as wooden spiral roots and a metal garden spiral that come to life when spun by his presence. During these parts of the show, the interpreters would sign the motions and movements of the objects. In the habit of expressing that which is being communicated, it appeared that the signers felt compelled to translate a means of expression that was quite perceivable to a hearing impaired child. This was a beautiful example of the prominence of nonverbal forms of communication in Thomas’ show. By communicating in so many different ways, Thomas symbolically spoke many different languages, following threads that touch the audience’s mind, body, heart, and soul.

It was an honor to be a part of and witness to this beautiful show, watching as it rippled through the audience seeping out into the world!

Comments:

ahhhh, thank you for those lovely words, ashley. what a delight to be seen so fully. your insights and ideas about the show and how to connect with my young audience made the performance so much better. your deep empathy for children and your understanding of what will keep them fully engaged and open to learning is inspiring. i honor the gifts you freely give. thank you, thank you.

chk, chk,
all my love,
thomas
~~~:o) | 02.10.05 – 11:03 pm | #

Oh ashley, how i envy the opportunity you have had, to be able to sit and watch thomas perform for all those precious children. i felt the exictment and amazement of the show through your wonderful words! like i was actually sitting next to you feeling the electricity in the atomsphere. how i marvel at what thomas does for kids and adults too, how fulfilling his life must be!
thank you!
with love,maria
maria | 02.16.05 – 3:15 pm | #

May the blessing of light be upon you

Light on the outside and light on the inside.

With God’s sunlight shining on you, may

your heart glow with warmth like a turf fire

that welcomes friends and strangers alike.

~Jan Koch

challenges of loving

When I know your total acceptance then I can show you my softest, most penetrable, delicate, beautiful, and vulnerable self.

~ Joseph Zinker

And what of the courage that is needed to own these delicate and vulnerable places? The space may be held, the foundation upon which an integrated person of profound self appreciation, self love, and self knowledge is established, the stage is set externally, the invitation has been released… and then comes the totally individualized, self-contained moment of choice. Do I release this hidden soft and tender part of my being — this wounded, fragmented, repressed and rejected expression of who I am out into the world? Must I own it? Must I confront the fact that this is me — is a part of me? And will this special other hate this part of me as much as I do? Will they acknowledge the grasp it has on me, the contraction it ignites within me? I know their total acceptance — and it is that I am scared to look at my own soft, penetrable, delicate and vulnerable states — I don’t find them beautiful and I’m conflicted by the fact that another does. And so I pull away — pushing another away.

And as I spiral into my fears, into my old habits, into my contractions, into my fear, into my pain, into my discomfort… I notice what’s there. I allow myself to feel that which naturally arises. I allow those icky feelings to stay, rather than pushing them back down into the dungeons of my psyche. And when I come up for breath, I remind myself:

I am supported for all of who I am and I support myself being all that I AM.

Comments:

I so needed to hear what you had to say.

I love you and think about you often,
~leela
leela | 02.03.05 – 12:39 am | #

May the blessing of light be upon you
Light on the outside and light on the inside.

With God’s sunlight shining on you, may
your heart glow with warmth like a turf fire
that welcomes friends and strangers alike.
Kojan | 02.09.05 – 3:12 am | #

leela,

i had actually written this bit (in my own journal) long before i wrote the first one. i thought i’d post the lovey mushy one first and then this one. after reading your’s and mary’s words on the other post, this one seemed to fit right in.

i love being a part of your sharing network and within the blessing of receiving your love.

loving you,
ashley

jan…

i would be sooooo honored and appreciative if you would share more of your prayers with me/ us. i needed what your wrote today so dearly… and it’s shaped the tone of my morning in such a tender way, awakening sleeping and hiding light.

i am always so moved and feel such a core place of contact with heart, being, and Spirit when i read these prayer comments that you drizzle about the internet. what are some of the daily prayers that you say? do you have some favorites? would you email me or maybe even be interested in posting here at easily amazed some?

a forever fan in gratitude,
ashley
ashley | Homepage | 02.09.05 – 11:36 am | #

loving

The experience of being loved is one of acute receptivity, of taking in the gift of another. It necessitates readiness to let the other person penetrate one’s deepest stratum; it requires openess and lack of defensiveness and suspiciousness that the loving person will be injurious. In the experience of letting the other person love us, we willingly take the risk of being hurt. The fact that the loving other has the power to hurt (to reject) and chooses not to gives the experience a sense of magnetism.

When we feel totally loved by someone who really “matters,” the ecstatic receptive experience makes us feel beautiful, perfect, graceful, profound, and wise. Our deepest, most profound stirrings of self-appreciation, self-love, and self-knowledge surface in the presence of a person whom we experience as totally accepting. It is as though we say, “When I know your total acceptance, then I can show you my softest, most penetrable, delicate, beautiful, and vulnerable self” (Carl Rogers).

~ Joseph Zinker in Creative Process in Gestalt Therapy

Do you have love like this in your life? Are you acutely receptive, drinking the gifts of others? Do you let others into the depths of your inner world, sharing the treasures that lie beneath your layers? Do you risk being hurt for the opportunity to feel beautiful, perfect, graceful, profound, and wise? Do you love in this way? Are you totally accepting of those that you love so that they feel at peace and free to share with you their softest, most penetrable, delicate, and beautiful self? Do the people that you love know how accepted they are so that they may expose themselves to you, open their heart to you, and trust that you will be tender and respectful, loving and appreciative of their vulnerable, undefended self? Do you feel seen and appreciated by the people that love you? Do you communicate, in clear and articulate ways, that which you see and appreicate in the people that you love?

And if you’re seriously asking yourself these questions… what type(s) of loving relationship(s) are you imagining? Your spouse, your partner, your lover, your child, your parent, your friend? Who are the people that really “matter” in your life and thus have the opportunity to catalyze an ecstatic receptive experience, to travel with you, accompanying you, as you blossom and grow, radiate and shine as the most beautiful, perfect expression of you that you’ve yet to experience? With whom do you allow such intimate relationships to sprout?

There are so many rich flavors of intimacy — physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual — each with infinite shades and textures. One unfortunate facet of our society is a common myth that the depths of an intimate relationship can only be experienced with a life partner or romantic lover. Frequently when a person feels seen, accepted, appreciated, and loved, there is an assumption of the presence of sexual desire or attraction. And yet, this need not be the case.

So in honor of the many types of intimacy that decorate our world and make my own personal experience of living so incredibly rich, I would like to say THANK YOU to each of you that loves me, accepts me, appreciates me, receives me, and companions me on this wonderful adventure of self acceptance and trust, self-appreciation, self-love, and self-knowledge. Thank you for loving me and for giving me the opportunity to gush forth my love to you.

sincerely,
ashley

Comments:

Sadly I am still skeptical about others loving me, much to my own surprise too. I feel like I should be beyond such blatant self doubt and vulnerability. It doesn’t happen much but I so still get this overwhelming panic that sharing loving space with someone is almost too good to be true and my mind runs rampant with thoughts that make me contract and feel like I am drowning in doubt.

However, the experience of being truly seen and loved is something beyond expression; once the panic and clinging subside. I find being free of attachment and just wallowing in the love that is all around me to be one of the biggest reasons that I choose to stay in a body. I spent so much time contracted around such things, rejecting the sentimentality to the point that I wondered if anything like true love really existed. I hate it when I waste time buying into that fear, I miss so much yumminess that way.

Loving you is a very rewarding experience Ashley Cooper. You make my heart well up with love and pride. Thank you for being one of the reasons I live my life with my heart wide open.
leela | 01.27.05 – 10:52 pm | #

Dear Ash, You are kinda like the anthesis of a black hole. Hmmmm…a white whole? Don’t know where I am going with that; part of me is tired and I don’t want to struggle for words. Just feeling the space between your words, the pure white light, sparkles and dancing, filling and penetrating. I like to share this space that is made and offered up for the taking. I am so grateful for your unique way of offering it, Ashley!!! I need to bring my darkness too but the beautiful thing is that this is OK!

It is so easy to find myself in the dark part of existence (can I stand the grief and loss of another ending? What will I do with my life? Where will I go? Do I belong anywhere? Can I survive? What do I have to offer? What is wrong with me that I find myself here again?, Will I be rejected because of this pain I feel?). This ability to be able to find and see the darkness in itself is a great gift. The light shining on it allows me to KNOW it, perhaps even extend LOVE to it. I keep shining light on it, allow others to shine their light on it when I have lost my way, light penetrating my defenses, my contractions, feel the reaching outward, the accompanying fear and be aware of light shining on that too.

How do I keep the light on those I love at the times when I can’t feel that acceptance, appreciation and love comeing back? How do I contract and give the same lack of acceptance in return? Does it really matter who started it? NO!!! Opening in the face of this is the biggest challenge. Intimate love with a partner sure adds a whole other dimension of trickiness for me; the darkness gets a little thicker, more foggy and so much is obscured, my light is hard to find, hard to trust. And we all know one can’t hold onto light. All I can do is allow it in the best ways I know how, pray for it, invite it, acknowledge it and express my gratitude. Bow deeply to all of it.
Mary | 01.30.05 – 11:31 am | #

For me Ashley, i was once a victim of hurt and pain associated with relationships. no matter how much i trusted, the inevitable always seemed to happen in that i was the one cast away and left. its weird i became so used to it that i began accepting it, like i deserved it. UNTIL i met my husband, my knight in shinning armour who accepted the love i had to offer, it took a while for me to relaxe and forget the feeling of failure and that it was sure to happen. in away the continued brokeness was away of accepting pain,sadness,suffering,from our relationship i have been able to show my love and love for others (especially my family) i wonder sometimes what this life would be like without love, how empty, for love to me is the most powerful feeling humans possess and i do beleive we could survive without other feelings such as anger and frustration,but we could not without love, yet how much it is abused and laughed at. from my relationship with my husband i have nurtured and let grow and express the very essence of human existence,LOVE!
ashley,when i read your posts they fill my spirit and light up my world, thank you for that.
i miss you!
with love,maria
maria | 02.08.05 – 9:04 am | #

leela, mary, and maria…

i am so touched by the depth and honesty of your sharing here. it is quite remarkable to me that it is possible to create “safe” spaces within the internet for vulnerability and genuine heart sharing. it is such an honor to feel that flavor at easily amazed. i feel like it’s such a gift to be a part of this network with you all.

Mary, i’m so glad you know not to struggle for the words to use here. that you know that your light and darkness is embraced and accepted here. that you continuously, both when connected to your light and your darkness, reflect such luminous light. all of you, for that matter, that participate here are so incredibly reflective that i am continuously in awe!

leela, if you feel like sharing more, i’d love to hear some other reasons why you live your life with your heart wide open. and ways in which you do that. i’m always trying to deepen my practice (grin).

and maria, i give thanks to kyle and you for re-opening yourself and letting that precious love flow gracefully into the world. oh, the countless hearts that it touches.

love to you all,
ashley | Homepage | 02.11.05 – 5:47 pm | #