Easily Amazed

Bathing my children one evening, my son decided to start splashing water all over the floor and me. I asked him to stop and he just carried on splashing (harder) so again I asked him to stop and each time the tone in my voice was sounding more and more irritated. He was perceptive to this and although I know how to set limits, for some unknown reason I did not set them this time. Jared finally said to me “Mom, give me a choice then.” I stopped in my tracks and said “Jared, if you choose to carry on splashing, then you choose not to watch tv after your bath, which do you choose?” He immediatly replied with “Finally, now I can stop splashing.” I was impressed that my son can now tell me with his words that he is aware that he needs limits and that he also reminds me to set them,COOL!!!!

Addition: After my post I realized that I had missed something… On giving jared choices, he now also lets me know whether the choice is big enough. Remember Dr.Landreth telling of little choices for little people and big choices for big people. Well as Jared grows he tells me if the choice is appropriate. WOW! I just want to tell you that you have made parenting so enjoyable, even the discipline, and I now know the true meaning of dicipline through the heart!

Secrets…

Many people have them burried deep down in themselves. Some are light and gentle, others are burdensome and heavy. Some secrets have to be kept and we honor the secret bearer, with some we struggle hard to let them rise to the light.

I stumbled over this beautiful site, where people are allowed to reveal their secrets. It touches me again and again to see the metamorphosis of darkness into light….

Do you wanna know a secret?

One Bright Idea… brought to you by Judi Richardson

I Hear Love

At one point I can remember telling others, in a rather resentful way, that my father only spoke to me of sports. I wanted him to tell me he loved me, to tell me he was proud of me.

Instead, he taught me to recite the names and cities of all the baseball teams in both leagues by the time I was five years old. He took me to see baseball, hockey, football, marathons, tennis and track meets. We watched professional, college, high school and Little League sports. He taught me of batting averages, ground rule doubles and how to keep score. He read me the sports page every morning at breakfast. I learned a great deal about sports because I loved and wanted to please my father.

What I recognize today is that my father was, all that time, speaking to me of his love. He loved sports, particularly baseball. It was the very stuff of his dreams. In sharing sports with me, he was sharing with me what he loved most, in the best way he knew how. I’ve learned to listen for my Dad’s love in retrospect. It’s so clear to me now.

I can choose to hear love in the sigh of the wind, in the songs of the birds, in the laughter of children, in the roar of the airplane taking off, and in the melody of my favorite music. Once I remembered that all I needed to do was listen for the love, I could hear it everywhere I went.

Can you hear the love today?

I invite you to hear love in anyway you can imagine. You may just hear its murmurs.

What’s happened to me?!?! It sure is difficult for me to blog these days. Most of my computer time is being spent at the Integral Education Forum. Recently I’ve been wondering about the role of ‘transparency’ in organizations.

The deeper that I dive into my own personal practice of transparency and commitment to genuineness and congruence, the more I am surprised and amazed by what unfolds as I move through the world.

So often transparency is associated with vulnerability that is then associated with being exposed and unprotected. The negative and ‘unsafe’ connotation that some of these words have often serve as blocks keeping people from taking risks and diving into the deep-end of possibilities. It’s one thing to make a decision as an individual to explore this territory; it seems to be a much larger commitment (and much more against the grain of the norm) to do so as an organization. Does any one else find this to be true?

Please share any thoughts or observations you have regarding Transparency and organizations. Thanks!

as we walk in the door from another long day at school and work, the children seem tired and irritated, maybe from the stress and struggles of the day, i have learnt as a parent to understand that when the kids get home they are able and need to release some of that stress! the bickering began and throughtout the evening the children were constantly annoying each other. i tried to stop them and realized as soon as i did it got worse as it was my attention they were needing! i stopped in my tracks and said “guys, whats happened to jared and zoe who always plays, laughs and helps each other” after a moment of silence zoe said to me “mom, i dont want to fight anymore, it makes me feel tired” i told zoe it would make me tired too! so she went and got a piece of paper and said “mom how do you spell, i like you everday” (zoe knows what letters to write, but does not know how to spell yet) i told her how to spell it and she gave it to jared. he smiled and then got a piece of paper and wrote “im sorry i hit you zoe” and gave it to zoe, she smiled and they were friends again! i then started to play with them. it made me realize the importance of specifically pointing out to the kids how positive they normally are! i have through this thought trained myself to see the positive side of things!! it makes me feel sooo much better.

Chris at Parking Lot is a great mentor for me on holding space. Today he uses the story of the re-discovery of the ivory-billed woodpecker to teach about holding space and never giving up on anyone.

Joy Harjo’s cousin wrote about the meaning of the birds to the Muskogee people:

The honorable ivory-billed woodpecker has returned from the dead and is living in a wildlife refuge in the Big Woods of eastern Arkansas. It seemed to disappear in 1944 and was long presumed extinct.

This spirit bird’s reappearance 60 years later reinforces a wise instruction by Native elders: ”Never give up on anyone.”

That admonition to never give up is an essential practice of holding space. In fact holding space, and the faith and dedication it demands, may be the most trusting thing one can do: imagining that the one who you are holding will eventually flourish, or return. If that wildlife refuge had never existed, a space held for the unconditional use of these animals, it’s likely the woodpecker would be gone from North America for good and the Muskogee songs and healing processes that go with it would have slowly disappeared too.

This is a lovely story about what it means to be connected to the world and what that connection demands of us.

Snippets from a journey unfolding

A friend writes to me, ?i looked out into the ocean….the water was rough and an anology came to me about the state of being i have found myself in.

What i am experiencing reminds me of entering a rough sea and getting caught in a rip-tide. For a bit what one seems to do is try and fight this force of nature…. but really after a bit one kinda figures out the fight is futile and if you continue you may drown…. i have been at that moment where one has to decide and like being in the rip-tide…i decided to

just let go…… The energy you ask about…for me is one of surrender…. i recognize that for me i have entered an unarmed journey into what i can only label as vulnerability…?

I?m floating amongst the calm waves of the Gulf of Mexico. Floating. . . such a place of surrender. I focus on the effort in my body that is working to keep me afloat. I try to release it all, give all of my weight to the water, allow myself to be totally guided by the waves ~ ~ ~

My friend?s words come to me. Getting caught in a rip-tide. And I wonder: What would that feel like? Imagine right now, as you?re floating, that you?re gripped by the force of a rip-tide. Feel the intensity of that pull, the threat to take you deep into the unknown. Feel the fear and startled responses that surge through your being and the reaction to fight in effort to free yourself. And now, just let go?surrender?enter the unarmed journey into vulnerability. I continued to float, grateful for the wisdom my friend shared with me and in awe of his courage.

I have a practice of periodically checking in with myself: If I were to die today, is there anything that I would regret? If so, is there anything I can do about that right now to dissipate that regret? Am I living my life in Integrity? Do I feel like my way of being is coming from the deepest place of truth that I know right now? Anything that comes up in response to these questions guides me towards action that I need to take if I wish to heal these wounded parts. Spring cleaning time!

I have a dear friend with whom I haven?t spoken to in awhile. There are questions left unanswered. I thought I was being respectful by not asking. I realized I was giving away my power by passively ignoring my own need to inquire. I call. My heart is pounding. My voice beckons forth? Wait, where is it? The tones do not flow from one to anther, I?m choking on my words. An enormous ball of emotion has hurled itself into my throat and it requires all effort and concentration for me release words. I surrender to this tumultuous force and allow myself to quiveringly express these few sentences, to invite this friend into a conversation. I let go?surrender?enter the unarmed journey into vulnerability. My heart is still pounding.