Easily Amazed

“Where does one go from a world of insanity?
Somewhere on the other side of despair.” (T.S. Eliot)

Today is simply a beautiful day in New Jersey…. the air is clear, humidity low, and the sky is filled with puffy white clouds. Funny then.. that i find myself pondering darker emotions.

When i read the above quote this morning i began to think of the troubled kids i have worked with over the years. In all those years i have never met a troubled kid who wasn’t, above all else, terribly lonely. Working with these kids has taken me on a journey into the world of despair… their worlds filled with a sense of emptiness and hopelessness. Going into this world…if one hangs out long enough… is a journey through pain…. not a departure from it.

Isolation is the biggest barrier to healing. Isolation is really a failure of our human community to reach out and offer connection to the individual.

The power to enter this world is the POWER OF LISTENING…. listening is the foundation of all healing. By a kind of grace…listening transforms suffering.

Listening to anothers pain is a primary form of nuturance… kids speak their pain automatically when there is a listener. The problem is that most adults do not like listening to anothers pain(especially kids). It is difficult and uncomfortable.

Listening to anothers suffering can result in dangerous knowing. As Miriam Greenspan points out in her great book, healing through the dark emotions:

What will we find out, if we really listen?

Will we be able to bear what we then know?

What will knowing ask of us?

Listening to despair, more so then grief or fear, has a moral and social dimention that calls us to pay attention to and make meaning out of human suffering.

Listening to despair tells us what we’d rather not know…. and once we know has a way of asking…..

What is it you will do with this knowing?

When my friend, Mike, noticed that I was reading Marc Gafni, he sent me his personal notes from another book of Gafni’s, The Mystery of Love. I offer these in my continued exploration of love:

• Love is a perception; to be loved is to be seen.
• Love is about in-sight. It is the ability to see in, to the inside of the inside.

What is it to receive love, to receive another’s perception, to know that you have been seen? Often love is offered, one person sees inside another person, and yet the other person is not aware of such and thus does not ‘receive’ the love… does not feel fully seen. How do you know when another sees you? How does another know that you see them? How do you express Love?

For me, a glowing expression of Love is open and honest feedback and reflection. Taking the time and energy to clearly articulate my perception to another, to share with them that which I see as their inside is a way for me to offer my in-sight. When that in-sight matches with the other’s own internal experience, the other feels seen. And in that feeling seen, the magic happens, they feel my Love in a way that sticks… at least for that moment!

For myself, sometimes I feel a flavor of ‘love’ coming to me from another person. I know that they love me. And yet I recognize that the feeling of love does not stick inside of me. My mind is telling me that I am loved and yet my heart doesn’t have anything to hold onto. This is where I often have to take a risk. I strip myself down to my vulnerable edges and ask the other to be more explicit, to give me a clear reflection of their perception, to give me feedback around the expression of love that is rising in the moment. I always (yes always) feel awkward when I have to ask for such explanations from others. I tell myself that “I should just know“, “I should just trust.” Countless experiences have proven to me that when I should all over myself, I get nowhere. So now, I push past my pride and ask for more reflection. My heart is healing, I’m receiving so much more love these days and for that my gratitude and reflection gushes all over the place!

Thank you Chris, for this inspirational offering. Here is today’s post at Parking Lot:

This is from “Synchronicity” by Joseph Jaworski. It is from a conversation he had with Francisco Varela in which Varela tells him about the power of being open:

When we are in touch with our ‘open nature,’ our emptiness, we exert an enormous attraction to other human beings. There is great magnetism in that state of being which has been called by Trungpa ‘authentic presence.” Varela leaned back and smiled. ‘Isn’t that beautiful? And if others are in that same space or entering it, they resonate with us and immediately doors are open to us. It is not strange or mystical. It is part of the natural order.

‘Those that are in touch with that capacity are seen as great warriors in the American Indian tradition, or as Samurai in the Eastern tradition. For me, the Samurai is one who holds that posture in the world–someone who is so open he is ready to die for the cause. That capacity gives us a fundamental key and is a state of being known in all great traditions of humanity.’

Later in the conversation, Varela warned, ‘There is great danger if we consider these people to be exceptional. They are not. This capacity is a part of the natural order and is a manifestation of something we haven’t seen previously, not something we do not have. This state is available to us all, and yet it is the greatest of all human treasures.Â?”

For me this is a perfect summary of what it is like to live a life of invitation. It also nicely describes the Open Space facilitation practices of Opening and Inviting.

This brings to awareness the conversation Christy and I have been having about ‘Companions of Destiny‘ and how we describe the sensation of being around someone whose door is open, and whom we want to invite inside. How do you recognize when someone’s door is open to you?

Resonating in a place of open doors, experiencing authentic presence, reminded me ofthis post.

And of course, that which stands out to me as most inspirationally beautiful, and the perfect reminder is:

This state is available to us all

This poem was shared with my family when my grandmother passed away. It spoke so eloquently to our experience that my grandfather read it at her memorial service.

Being Naked

For more tasty treats for your eye’s delight, let yourself indulge in Todd Norman Guess’ delicious gallery.

Many years ago the modern mayan calendar was introduced to me along with a 13 moon calendar. I go through phases of using this calendar as part of my daily practice. Some mornings upon waking, I read about the day’s glyph and tone (The tones are the bars and dots which represent numbers 1-13. Today is 11. The glyphs are the pictures and there are 20.), some days I use the glyph and tone to add deeper insight into my day, some days after experiencing the flavor of the day, I check in with the calendar to see how they connect. When I am in-tune with this calendar, I marvel at the synchronicity I feel with the tones and glyphs. The daily confirmations of alignment with an order that is more expansive than my own day’s unfolding is quite awe-some to me. The first long period of time that I spent using this as my primary calendar had a dramatic effect on my perspective of time. I did begin to recognize that “time is a frequency, the frequency of synchronization.“

Today is Blue Spectral Eagle. I’d like to share with you about Spectral (tone 11). These words are reprinted from the 13moon calendar. For fun, decode another date that has meaning to you.

Tone 11 represents the power of creative dissolution and dissonant structure. What can appear as destruction or chaos may actually be the necessary forces of liberation evoking a release from rigid structure and format. As we release that which no longer serves, we make way for new opportunities and understandings to emerge. Setting us free from expectation or definite notions, Spectral energy breaks us out of routine, releasing us into the spectrum of possibility! Like a prism refracting white light — revealing its full spectrum of colors, Tone 11 provokes us to see aspects of our wholeness that may be yet undiscovered.

Guiding us to dissolve fixed concepts, fears, or habitual patterns that weigh us down, Spectral power declares: “I invite break-through; I dissolve identity; I un-solidify; I release old models for new models; I wield dissonance as a force of liberation; I redeem chaos as untamed order; I shed; I free limiting beliefs and constructs — no box, no separation, no boundaries; uncontained; free-form; receptive to the prismatic range of possibility.”

Spectral advises: Let go; let your self be absorbed by life itself. Be flexible in yielding to the formless flow. Allow your focus to cover a vast range. Dissolve feelings of constrictions. Welcome spontaneity, seeming disruptions, and unexpected detours. Release allegiance to limitations, reliance upon format, or fixation upon control. Un-do, break-down, mix it up! Allow energy to travel as it needs. Disperse into formless existence.

photo source

I’m reading the book , Soul Prints by Marc Gafni. Are you interested in your soul print?

“What is your soul print?

Your soul print is your spiritual signature. It is the contour and content of your soul–its character. It is more specific to you, and you alone, than the handwriting of your name scrawled on a check or a letter. It is even more singular to you than your genes and chromosomes. …

Your soul print exists not only within, but also without–in how your soul touches the world. When you pick up a pen, brush you hand a cross a banister, turn a doorknob, shake a hand, touch someone’s face, you leave behind an imprint of yourself–your fingerprint. Even after you’ve let go, a part of you remains. It is the same with your soul print. The people and places touched by your soul are imprinted with your mark, with your essence. Everywhere you walk in the world, you leave behind the beautiful, valuable, matchless print of your soul. …

I hope we can learn together how living our soul prints can bring us happiness and profound connection to ourselves, to others, and to God–whatever our understandings of God may be.”

I don’t know how Rabbi Gafni will word this, but I know that listening to the Voice of Love is one powerful way to find your soul print. Rick at a new life emerging speaks beautifully on this subject:

“Do you hear voices?

What voices do you believe?

How do we silence the voices of fear, hurt, and abuse so that we can hear the Voice that calls out in love reminding of us of our belovedness? How can we hear the Voice of Love when the voice of destruction often seems so much louder or when the voice of hurt is tragically repeated?

We need to be reminded daily of who we are. We need to surround ourselves with people who build us up, not tear us down. We need to remind oursleves daily who we are, that we are created in the image of a loving God and that God sees us as good. We have to listen to the voice deep in our soul where our hopes and dreams impregnate our heart with new life.

What Voice are you listening to? The Voice of Love who wants to give you life or the voice of hurt that wants to take away life?

Perhaps the real question is what voice do you believe? God I want to believe, please help my unbelief.

My experience is, if the voice takes life it is not of God. If the voice gives life it is from God.

I hear voices… we all hear voices.

I pray that God will give me the wisdom and grace to chose life and to believe the Voice of Love.”