Enjoying the Sadness of Life

A beautiful Sunday in Seattle. Before a walk in the park, I pick up the book In Other Words: A Language Lover’s Guide to the Most Intriguing Words Around the World. I open randomly to a page, in search of a word to carry with me on my journey. It’s a Japanese word I find:

aware [a-wa-reh] (noun)

An awareness and appreciation of the ephemeral beauty of the world. The seasons change, the cherry blossom gently falls, the crops are planted, grow, and die. Aware is that poignant sensation one has of time passing, of the inevitable cycle of life and death. From the noun comes the idiom mono-no-aware. Roughly translated as “enjoying the sadness of life,” it’s that bittersweet, vaguely poetic feeling you get around dusk, on a long train journey, looking out at the driving rain… a few autumn leaves still clinging to your coat.

The colors in Seattle are phenomenal right now

Luminous Edge by Thomas Arthur

Thomas Arthur recently performed Luminous Edge in Vancouver, BC. Some lovely reviews of the show appeared in The Vancouver Sun and Georgia Straight. A few sweet lines:


“An interesting glimpse into one man’s passion for compassion…
Make no mistake – kids are going to be given not only Arthur’s feel for physical fun but a whole bunch of love as well. This is a man whose heart chakra is bursting to embrace everyone.”

“I think it’s safe to say that you will never see a more personally revealing juggling show…
His fascinations—and his skinless honesty—yield a great deal of pleasure.”

It’s exciting to watch as Thomas’ world of performance continuously expands to include his many gifts and passions, while shedding layers of habit, pretense and defense to let the luminous light of his pure being and personality shine brightly in the art he offers to the world. He inspires me to continuously deepen my own practice of finding ways to be vulnerably open and authentically present, even when I feel that I’m ‘on stage’ or that I should be presenting a certain side of myself. Sometimes the rawness of “skinless honesty” sure feels painful and uncomfortable. The release, however, of surrendering to what-is always offers a breath of fresh air… eventually!

Can you imagine how sweet it would be to have a place where people could gather regularly to experience our heart chakra’s bursting open, to be dazzled by wonder, awe and beauty, and to have opportunities to practice skinless honesty? I dream of this! Do you know of the perfect old church that wants to house such rich experiences?!

P.S. There’s is a third review written in Japanese. Google translate didn’t do much to help read it, so if you speak Japanese, feel free to share what the article says!!

Returning Home

I’m back in Seattle now after a little over 2 weeks in Atlanta with family and fate. I sit in one of my favorite coffee shops. Drink coffee, eat a bagel, watch the people around, smell the smells, hear the many sounds, feel the quiet/loud, stillness/activity. It’s sunny outside. I see the light shining through new spring leaves. That makes me smile!

There are so many thoughts, feelings and sensations moving through me. Is it that I don’t know where to start or am I afraid to dip into the well, what might I pull out?

My heart has been deeply touched and changed through life experiences of recent days. I went home to be with my dad and family as my dad had major surgery. I was there before hand, during the 4 hour surgery, at the hospital for the 8 days of healing, at home a couple of days, and back to the hospital just before I left town yesterday. Our family has grown closer and supported each other phenomenally through the stresses of surgery and the surprise of a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. Our spirits stay high, the laughter continues to rumble and some of our outer shells slowly soften. We cry also!

One thing I’ve been fascinated by is how disordering it can feel when one is unable to play the accustomed (habitual) roles in a social system. For me it was in my family. For a few of us, we noticed that there are roles that we generally play, that are expected of us. In times of stress and intensity, sometimes it wasn’t appropriate for us to play those roles. And then we felt a loss of identity. If I’m not the helper. If I don’t know how to be supportive and how to express my love in valuable ways. If my presence isn’t a comfort. Then who am i? What is my purpose?

And now I return to ‘my life.’ What is my role here? I’ve been immersed moment to moment in the life of my dad and how each of us around him, who love him so dearly, are responding to the intensities of change, fear and discomfort… to the heart-touchings of life’s fragile importance, of love’s expansive blessings, and of the gentle gifts of grace that emerge from vulnerability and closeness.

Now I’m in a coffee shop with other people on their computers, the espresso machine clicking, the guy walking by and smiling, a child trying to figure out how he pays for and receives his drink all by himself, the humm in my head of what I need to do today to return to this world… Life just keeps going. My body’s here now. My mind and much of my family are still there. And I’m confused. Peaceful… and confused.

It’s hard for me to stay centered in this moment. I drift away… drifting backwards through the stream of experiences that happened in the hospital, at the house, in the car, in the woods, on the phone, by myself, with my loved ones, in the silence. Those were some of my favorite experiences… the pauses between the moments… especially with my dad. Being with him, sweetly and genuinely, in silence. Just there. Together. No boundaries between us.

My mind also drifts to the future. What lies ahead for him? What will he experience? What will we experience? How do I proceed? How can I be so far away? And gently, I remind myself to breathe. I feel my lungs rise and fall. I try to focus on some part of my body. I notice what’s going on around me. And then, settling into here… I feel confused… and wonder, how do I proceed?

The Way You Live Today by Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov

Your entire destiny is contained in and determined by the way you live today: the orientation you give to your thoughts and feelings, and the activities on which you choose to spend your energies.(…)

This is something that has to be done every day: be conscious and aware at each instant of how you are using your energies…You can do it while you are walking to work, on the bus, at the dentist’s, or in your own kitchen. Wherever you are, at any moment of the day, you can always glance into yourself and ask yourself: {What is alive right now? Is it helpful to focus my attention here?}*

Let the word ‘harmony’ soak into you at every moment; keep it within you as a kind of tuning fork: if you feel that you are beginning to worry or get upset, pick it up and listen to it, and do nothing until you have tuned your whole being once more. Harmony is the foundation of every successful venture, every divine realization. Before undertaking any activity, whatever it may be, learn to concentrate on harmony and your work will bear fruit for the rest of eternity.

*My own questions, not from the author

I stare at that tree with the light shining through the green, green leaves. I soak in that harmony. There is harmony all around me in the outer world. I invite this harmony to soak into me at every moment. I will carry it around with me in the form of a smooth polished stone, inviting me to be present, surrender and listen to this moment. To trust in this moment. And to tune my whole being, once more, to harmony. I get to learn who I am now… and what does harmony in my life now feel like.

Green Leaves by Cathryn Cooper

Pieces of a Puzzle

Each lifetime is the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
For some there are more pieces.
For others the puzzle is more difficult to assemble.
Some seem to be born with a nearly complete puzzle.
And so it goes.
Souls going this way and that
Trying to assemble the myriad parts.

But know this. No one has within themselves
All the pieces to their puzzle . . .
Everyone carries with them at least one and probably
Many pieces to someone else’s puzzle.
Sometimes they know it.
Sometimes they don’t.

And when you present your piece
Which is worthless to you,
To another, whether you know it or not,
Whether they know it or not,
You are a messenger from the Most High.

—Lawrence Kushner, Honey from the Rock

Photograph by Right Eye

Love, Courage and Being Human

We’re so human.

Sitting in the hospital has the effect of causing me to think a lot about being human, having a body, how the body works, how we humans are connected to each other, and particularly the many, many different life experiences that we each have, the infinite possibilities that there are.

I’m in the ICU waiting room right now. Sleeping relatives, people reading, conversations, pacing,cell phones, tappering fingers at the computer, reading the newspaper, staring. What brings them all here? What is their loved one experiencing? How long have they been in ICU? Was it a planned visit like ours is or was it an emergency that brought them here?

A question passing through my head… How does each person cope?

And then I hear a laugh, and a woman somewhere on the other side of the plants says, “Ahh… you’re such an optimist!”

I woke up this morning thinking about bravery, courage and love. My dad continues to astonish me with the courage that he’s showed throughout this entire experience. Coming out of major surgery, he baffled all of us with his completely lucid, spirited, curious and informative self. Really, this guy just spent four hours in surgery. He had his stomach opened and then his entire digestive system was re-organized (gallbladder removed, part of pancreas removed, part of stomach removed, bile duct removed, and a tumor removed). Everything was sewed back together in new ways and his stomach stapled shut. Now he’s asking if we took a picture of all of us in the waiting room, he’s telling us about the synchronistic connections with the anesthesia doctor and making jokes with the nurses. How is that possible? How amazing is our human spirit and the ability to not just survive but to do so with the will to flourish.

I really believe that a lot of his success has to do with his bravery and courage. I would say he walked into this surgery open-heartedly. For me an open heart has trust and is available to connect with what ever is coming its way and even surrender to it. I continually see him taking in the facts, meeting what is known about how he (and his body) are experiencing life, and then being with what arises. That includes being with his fear, his nervousness, the hinting inevitable ‘what-if’s. Being with it all… and not stopping there… having the courage to push beyond what-is to hold the perspective of what could be – healing, fast recovery, his own bed, LIFE!

As I write now, it is day 3 after the surgery. He’s out of ICU. This morning he took his first walk around the nursing station. This afternoon he made three laps. One by one the tubes are coming out and at the moment his legs are dancing under his covers to the Keb Mo playing on the CD player!

He believes that so much of his progress is from his huge network of love, support and care. He is a man well loved and respected by those in his life.

And so the questions that sit with me right now… How might each of us touch that place in us that feels well loved and respected (especially loved and respected by ourselves)? What happens when we live from that center? How do we allow that to be medicine that empowers us to have courage to move towards the possibilities of what could-be that feel alive and vibrant?

And as for my dad, you can follow his journey on The P Train.

Seeds of Compassion – Get Involved

Seeds of Compassion is here.

Some of the event details will follow… but first I’m so proud to share a video and article about a first and second grade class at my school that is using the Seeds of Compassion curriculum and was visited by Lama Tenzin a few weeks ago and King5 news. Please watch.

“I think you can get a little bit of compassion out of everybody. I think everybody is somewhat compassionate.” Mila Kopp, age 8

If you’re in Seattle and don’t have tickets, you can still participate. There are 80 amazing workshops happening at the Seattle Center Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Take a look. They are all free and first come, first serve. You can also catch many of the ticketed events on local television or online and/or go to a viewing party somewhere in the Seattle-area.

And for those of you around the world, you too can enjoy this historical event. Seeds of Compassion will be making available live and archived webcasts of the events. All webcasts are translated into 24 languages for a global audience.

You can also host a viewing party or a Compassion Circle in your area as a way to connect with others who see the value in and importance of a growing compassion movement. And finally, the Seeds of Compassion website and Wiki are filled with information and resources about all things related to Social and Emotional wellbeing and fostering more compassion in our world. Please take advantage of this collection of materials.

“Because we all share this planet Earth, we have to learn to live in harmony and peace with each other and with nature. This is not just a dream, but a necessity.”~ The Dalai Lama