I am really enjoying the cut-and-paste game lately. If only I could play with all of the words that easily amaze me these days. . .
here’s what I’ve got for right now. This is from the integral naked discussion, have you ever connected beyond…. This post seems to fit with conversations going on here – being vulnerable, complementing, and now compassionate criticism:
“And isn’t that the potential of an adult relationship? the ability to be open and vulnerable?
The Dalai Lama is often quoted as saying “our greatest spiritual friends are not those that are easy to be around… Our greatest spiritual friends are the ones who press our buttons…” (or something to that effect)
With this in mind, I began several years ago soliciting friends to be “spiritual friends”… Now this didn’t mean that we would sit around and sing kum-ba-ya or anything like that… rather we based this “spiritual friendship” on something I call “compassionate criticism”.
The basis of this “compassionate criticism” is around the idea that the easiest way to see the separate self, is to criticize it!
The beauty of this exercise is that it’s not only an exercise of the person getting the criticism… but also of the person giving the criticism.
I can tell you when I receive “compassionate criticism” in a mindful way.. I can definitely see my separate self… It becomes WAY less of subtle thing to deal with. It’s that part of you that wants to say “But.. but … but…”
But also when I give a criticism, I can see a part of me that says “Thats right.. I KNOW..” It’s another side of the ego that becomes very noticable in an exchange like this…
The whole idea of a “spiritual friendship” like this is that you have two people consciousness’ working on your growth simultaneously. In the absolute realm it works to make you see your separate self.. and lessens your identity with it. In the relative realm it works because people always develop along differing lines at different rates and invariably the critisicm comes from an area where your friend is a little more developed than yourself.”
like christy said, “A dance of both connection (one to the other) and communion (no other, just One)!”