picture by eric stone
what’s your most memorable moment from a trip?
when i’m asked to sink deep into my memories of israel, two things happen. immediately my body takes on a different feel. i am full and very sensitive… and then i see a rainbow….
shall we take another dip into my journal…from time in israel…
“the most moving moment for me and the fullest understanding of israeli life that i embody right now is of the juxtaposition of life’s extremes. consistant travel amongst such extremes creates a very condensed embodiment (today’s word!).
i’ll start with the story. our afternoon was spent listening to the story of gavriel and his mother. he was murdered at his school by an arab gunman. he was a very ambitious youth who was committed to studying, being of service, living selflessly, always striving to grow and be his fullest self. his mother had been working with arabs in some way prior to his death. he was murdered less than a year ago and she sat with 30 of us and shared his life… as he was during his waking years and as he inspires and influences after his death. she sees that there is some greater plan and for gavriel to die, she must continue the work he began.
we came home to hear of a suicide bombing on a tel aviv bus. then it was time for dinner. at dinner, eran, a soldier stood up to share his thoughts: he heard of the bombing and then wondered what we would eat for dinner. sitting amongst a room full of americans, however, he noticed the hardening of himself– and wondered: how it must look to those people? that i think so little of such a horrible act? because of the circumstances and the reality of life, however, he said that it is difficult to be effected by such news. unfortunately it has become so common. and it is imperative to not give in and to keep on living.
later that night, as my eyes were ready to sleep, conversation between he and i and dana, another soldier, explored more of the perspective on “the situation”, on the strength of their army, on… and how since the intifada, belief in and hope for peace has dwindled. compassion for palestenians is scarce… (what went unsaid but could be felt so fully was… there is death everywhere)
the next morning we awake to learn that of the 4 killed is one of nirit’s friends. it hits home. this attack that occurs during our visit has direct connection to us. i am sitting and feeling the impact of this pain. the depth of my sorrow. and imagining — such a depth as being commonplace — a part of the ordinary. the room is heavy… and then we are invited into another realm.
the most amazing rainbow beckons us outside. a full arch. the air is speckled and misty. the green mountains lie just beyond this archway of color – splendor. to me the rainbow appears as a gateway– the pain and sorrow inside the room behind me, divine beauty before me. the land and the rainbow lure me into the magical world of amazement… and my heart rests open. my soul passes through the gateway embraced by the colors of the rainbow. and the colors of this particular rainbow were so rich. often that violet is difficult for me to see. it’s magic is faint and subtle. but on this day — all light was present.
and then i was told that rainbows are a bridge connecting earth to the heavens. later someone said the torah says that rainbows remind man of god’s promise not to inflict another flood upon the humans. however, if he presents a rainbow, it means they have done something he does not approve of.
and for me. the rainbow is a stamp of divine presence, a reminder of the magic of life, an invitation into the realm of nature, a bath of color in which to cleanse, nourish, refuel.
and so on this day in israel… the intensity of extremities, the juxtaposition of close neighbors, the reality of immense pain and radiant joy swirled amongst one another. it is this dance–not a fluid latin dance, but a choppy jagged pulse that seems to be reality here. from a moment to moment basis. on an individual level up through the collective, social, cultural world. one minute the beauty of the sea, the intellectual and emotional candy of good conversation and the next minute, fear of a missing (dead) child. (remember: these are the words we don’t say)
and so i wonder about this condensed feeling i feel. the world is not safe here. to be totally open is quite dangerous/destructive. and so the spectrum, from end to end, must be tightly packed into the consciousness. all extremes easily accessible — available.
and so lives this warm, welcoming, inviting, inspirational, courageous people — guarded, protected, quick to respond, without boundaries, aggressive, intense.
from this stock i come! so naturally, so innocently, so really!”