I started reading the book I Love You Rituals by Becky A. Bailey today. I am currently writing a lesson plan of rituals to complement the 10 week parenting group that I have been facilitating. The model, type of therapy, that I have been studying is called Filial Therapy. There are various methods for leading a filial therapy group. The common bottom line intent, however, is to strengthen the parent-child relationship. although the links provided are from different sources then the model I have been trained in, they all complement one another. this book by Becky Bailey is not connected with filial therapy, though, again, they complement one another.
As I began my personal journey, I found out something very surprising: I was frightened of the present moment. This understanding was inspired by the work, friendship and love of Carol Howe. The saying goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” This was the case with Carol, who is my teacher, mentor, and friend. The present was where my feelings were located. I had spent so many years staying busy, exercising, achieving, and taking care of others; I never realized these were different forms of compulsion to drown out my feelings. I also thought that if I relaxed and let down my defenses, people would see me as incompetent or unworthy. What I discovered, with Carol’s guidance, was that when I chose to relax and be in the present, I felt connected and loved. My fears melted away. The more I could stay in the moment, the more I could engage with children. Just think about it. If young children live in the present and adults spend most of their time in the past or in the future, we have abandoned our children to some degree.
This book, I Love You Rituals, came out of my journey from being lost in the past and projecting my thoughts into the future to rediscovering myself in the present. I once read, “The true gifts of life lie in the moment. That is why we call it the present.” We, as a culture, have replaced presence with presents.
Each moment we have a choice to be fully present and loving or available yet disconnected….These I Love You Rituals are my present to your presence. Good journey!
if anyone wants to donate some of their own family rituals to this project, please do share!
with love and gratitude,
ashley