Snippets from a journey unfolding
A friend writes to me, ?i looked out into the ocean….the water was rough and an anology came to me about the state of being i have found myself in.
What i am experiencing reminds me of entering a rough sea and getting caught in a rip-tide. For a bit what one seems to do is try and fight this force of nature…. but really after a bit one kinda figures out the fight is futile and if you continue you may drown…. i have been at that moment where one has to decide and like being in the rip-tide…i decided to
just let go…… The energy you ask about…for me is one of surrender…. i recognize that for me i have entered an unarmed journey into what i can only label as vulnerability…?
I?m floating amongst the calm waves of the Gulf of Mexico. Floating. . . such a place of surrender. I focus on the effort in my body that is working to keep me afloat. I try to release it all, give all of my weight to the water, allow myself to be totally guided by the waves ~ ~ ~
My friend?s words come to me. Getting caught in a rip-tide. And I wonder: What would that feel like? Imagine right now, as you?re floating, that you?re gripped by the force of a rip-tide. Feel the intensity of that pull, the threat to take you deep into the unknown. Feel the fear and startled responses that surge through your being and the reaction to fight in effort to free yourself. And now, just let go?surrender?enter the unarmed journey into vulnerability. I continued to float, grateful for the wisdom my friend shared with me and in awe of his courage.
I have a practice of periodically checking in with myself: If I were to die today, is there anything that I would regret? If so, is there anything I can do about that right now to dissipate that regret? Am I living my life in Integrity? Do I feel like my way of being is coming from the deepest place of truth that I know right now? Anything that comes up in response to these questions guides me towards action that I need to take if I wish to heal these wounded parts. Spring cleaning time!
I have a dear friend with whom I haven?t spoken to in awhile. There are questions left unanswered. I thought I was being respectful by not asking. I realized I was giving away my power by passively ignoring my own need to inquire. I call. My heart is pounding. My voice beckons forth? Wait, where is it? The tones do not flow from one to anther, I?m choking on my words. An enormous ball of emotion has hurled itself into my throat and it requires all effort and concentration for me release words. I surrender to this tumultuous force and allow myself to quiveringly express these few sentences, to invite this friend into a conversation. I let go?surrender?enter the unarmed journey into vulnerability. My heart is still pounding.