When my friend, Mike, noticed that I was reading Marc Gafni, he sent me his personal notes from another book of Gafni’s, The Mystery of Love. I offer these in my continued exploration of love:
- Love is a perception; to be loved is to be seen.
- Love is about in-sight. It is the ability to see in, to the inside of the inside.
What is it to receive love, to receive another’s perception, to know that you have been seen? Often love is offered, one person sees inside another person, and yet the other person is not aware of such and thus does not ‘receive’ the love… does not feel fully seen. How do you know when another sees you? How does another know that you see them? How do you express Love?
For me, a glowing expression of Love is open and honest feedback and reflection. Taking the time and energy to clearly articulate my perception to another, to share with them that which I see as their inside is a way for me to offer my in-sight. When that in-sight matches with the other’s own internal experience, the other feels seen. And in that feeling seen, the magic happens, they feel my Love in a way that sticks… at least for that moment!
For myself, sometimes I feel a flavor of ‘love’ coming to me from another person. I know that they love me. And yet I recognize that the feeling of love does not stick inside of me. My mind is telling me that I am loved and yet my heart doesn’t have anything to hold onto. This is where I often have to take a risk. I strip myself down to my vulnerable edges and ask the other to be more explicit, to give me a clear reflection of their perception, to give me feedback around the expression of love that is rising in the moment. I always (yes always) feel awkward when I have to ask for such explanations from others. I tell myself that “I should just know“, “I should just trust.” Countless experiences have proven to me that when I should all over myself, I get nowhere. So now, I push past my pride and ask for more reflection. My heart is healing, I’m receiving so much more love these days and for that my gratitude and reflection gushes all over the place!