this was posted at the integral naked discussion on compliments:
“I just wanted to share this thought with you all. As a foreigner, I was just shocked to see how compliment-saturated the American social-culture is when I first moved to the U.S. Most of it seems empty to me, at times. I felt sofocated by the excess of adjectives and labels every time someone opened their mouth. If there is nervous silence, it seems inevitable that a compliment, adjective or label (that is completely unnecessary) will be thown out in the air just for the sake of it…
I personally dig being complemented, when is timely, meaningful and sincere. I don’t like to give compliments unless I really mean it (well, after 3 years in the U.S., I;m starting to get into that habit, as well).
I don’t mean to be agressive, but that is one thing I hardly ever get the chance to express… since it’s a cultural difference I don’t think people are ready to hear this. This conversations at IN are about running around naked so that’s why I decided to speak up. I apologize if anyone feels attacked by it, but really guys think about it… make good use of your ability to compliment people!”
to which i replied:
ABSOLUTELY… i think that is one of the big reasons that people cringe when they get a compliment… because so often they are just empty words that people throw into a space. that’s interesting to hear that it’s a cultural thing. i’d never thought about it from that perspective. what you bring up is exactly why i clarified that by compliments, i mean the genuine ones from the heart.
any other observations on it being a cultural thing?
i invite us all to be conscious of how we give and receive compliments. avoiding throwing complementary words into the air for the sake of filling space, and feeling as the timely, meaningful, and sincere words land within our being.
have fun!