Becky wrote:
“i think that if you don’t make yourself vulnerable to others, you’ll never gain anything due to your state of being closed. that’s one reason why i feel you, ashley, and others like you are able to squeeze so much juice out of life. by opening yourself up, you allow more ____ (love, people, lessons, experiences) to come in. that makes you so much richer inside. so yes, it can be dangerous to be vulnerable but isn’t the reward that comes with that state ever sweeter?”
you bring up such a valuable point… and introduce so many powerful questions.
what does it mean to be vulnerable?
is the reward sweeter?
is it dangerous to be vulnerable?
what does it mean to squeeze juice out of life?
what happens when we stay in a state of being closed?
what does it mean to be closed?
what do we allow in when we open ourselves up?
how do we open ourselves up?
we did an exercise in one of my classes where we acted out different feelings. two different people acted out “vulnerable.” the first guy kept using his arms and hands to pour out love from his heart. he was giving…everywhere…constantly. warm, open, and loving was the approach he took. nobody guessed vulnerable. the next woman stood up there and crossed her arms over her heart, curved her body in, and lowered her head. she was protecting herself. vulnerability required some sort of protection, defense. nobody guessed vulnerable. what does it mean for you to be vulnerable?
it is one of my goals to be vulnerable. i make conscious efforts to open myself further, to express my vulnerability, and to protect myself from being abused because of my vulnerability. i agree with you, becky, that by keeping one’s self closed, one is restricted in the new life, love, pain, joy, people, lessons, experiences, etc. that are allowed in.
but is the reward greater? i think that is an individual’s decision. what one person sees as richer may be chaos for another person. and to welcome in the danger, the pain and the sorrow, the extreme feelings on one end of the spectrum may not be desired simply for the gains of “ever sweeter” rewards on the other end of the spectrum.
personally, i am flattered to be seen as someone who squeezes juice out of life. i am thrilled and amazed by the juicey moments in my days. but i also like the juicey ones like yesterday where tears flowed constantly. i know that i grow from the juicey days were i feel so lonely and isolated. i get such a kick out of people who say to me: “you’re always in such a good mood.” i’ll take the label, optimisitic, but a constant good mood. HA HA HA… my journey is one of highs and lows and i LOVE the rhythm of traveling the waves!!!