easily amazed

My Heart Echoed His Heart

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 02:37:00 +0000

If You Really Pay Attention
by Paula Underwood

When I was a little bitty kiddy, about five, my Dad began a process … anytime somebody came and said something to us, my dad would say, "You remember what he said, honey girl?” I would tell my father what the person said until I got so good at it that I could repeat verbatim even long presentations of what the person had said.

And he did this all the time.

Finally, one day there was this old gentleman, Richard Thompson. I still remember his name, he lived across the street. And every time my Dad started to mow the lawn, there came Mr. Thompson. And so I would stand out there.

Dad says, “You might come and listen to this man, honey girl. He’s pretty interesting.” And so I listened to him, and then my dad would say, “What did you hear him say?” And I would tell him.

Well, eventually I was repeating all the stories he liked to share with my dad verbatim. I knew them all by heart.

And my Dad says, “You’re getting pretty good at that. But did you hear his heart?" And I thought, what? So I went around for days with my ear to people's chest trying to hear their hearts.

Finally my Dad created another learning situation for me by asking my mother to read an article from the newspaper. He says “Well, I guess if you want to understand that article, you have to read between the lines."

I thought, "Oh, read between the lines. Hear between the words."

So the next time I listened to Mr. Thompson’s stories, I tried to listen between the words. My Dad said, “I know you know his story, but did you hear his heart?” And I said, "Yes. He is very lonely and comes and shares his memories with you again and again because he’s asking you to keep him company in his memories."

It just came out of me. In other words, my heart echoed his heart.

And when you can listen at that level, then you can hear not only the people. If you really pay attention, you can hear what the Universe is saying.

--Paula Underwood, clan mother of the Turtle clan, Iroquois nation

Give Love

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 16:25:00 +0000

Give your love away. Don't be afraid.

Love is life

Love is priceless and it guides us

Lifts us up and ignites us

Love unites us

Open up your heart and let it shine the brightest

Give Love. Give Your Love Away.

MC Yogi - Give Love (Giving4Living Mix) from MC Yogi on Vimeo.

Thank you for this delicious offering.

Goodbye Comments

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 02:55:00 +0000

The comments at easily amazed are going to disappear soon. I'm sad about this as there have been some incredible conversations and insights that emerged in those little haloscan boxes. I might post some of them into the original post, we'll see.

Thank you Haloscan for serving me well up until now. It's a bummer you have to go away and that there is no easy free way to save all these little word nuggets!

This is definitely my all time favorite comment box post.

Extraordinary Human Capacities

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 17:06:00 +0000

Stephen Wiltshire: The Human Camera
In this short excerpt from the film Beautiful Minds: A Voyage into the Brain, Wiltshire takes a helicopter journey over Rome and then draws a panoramic view of what he saw, entirely from memory.

Supporting Change Through Friendship and Compassion

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 15:36:00 +0000

Glyness Hernandez

Today I honor present and past teachers, visionaries, activists and leaders who have dedicated their brilliance and gifts to creating a world that works for all, opening opportunities in subtle and bold ways for freedom, equality, justice and healing.

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

~Martin Luther King, Jr.

At last year's Martin Luther King, Jr. Rally I was walking with a first grader I worked with. Suddenly he looked up at me and said, “Oh, I know why you’re here today, Ashley.” “Why?” I asked, curious to discover the connection he had just made. “Because this is all about friendship… and you’re the friendship teacher.”

He taught me such a simple lesson in that moment - friendship is at the heart of the work we do and efforts we make towards creating a world where all people may flourish. Every child has the right to reach their full potential and feel loved. Friendship and friendliness are powerful forces that we use to support one another in living our full potentials. We can extend care and compassion, invite intimacy and connect with one another in nourishing ways that leave us feeling loved, respected, appreciated and capable of being the beautiful and potent forces we are.

Today I also want to thank the extraordinary people in my life who care for me, encourage me and have given me so much practical help in my pursuit to become a leader in transforming the United States' Education System. I applied to Harvard's new program in Education Leadership last week and have been astonishingly humbled by the generosity, encouragement, feedback, belief and care that has been bestowed upon me and this journey I am on. Thank you to each of you who gave of yourselves to support me. Words fail to carry the weight of my gratitude.

All the conversations I've had since stepping into the application process have fiercely enlivened my belief that we can do this. We can make a difference and organize ourselves into action, facilitating the change that is necessary so the dreams of Dr. King and so many other compassionately active forces may come to fruition. Through our friendships, our willingness to drop barriers and open vulnerably to genuine connections with one another, we can create transformative change. I am awed by the people that I know, the work that you are doing, the lives that you are living and the hearts that you continuously touch. I am awed by the human power, the power of love that swells forth upon this Earth and the impact it has in so many subtle and complex ways. And I am eager to meet, connect with and learn from those I have not yet met. I see this beautiful tapstery of connections. We are weaving together the social fabric that supports the well-being and actualization of children on this Earth.

Every child (every person) has the right to feel loved and respected and valued for their contributions. We can create opportunities for children to feel safe and stay connected to their intelligence, creativity and inspiration, as well as their neurological impulse to learn and love. We can affect the future of our world by investing in the livelihood and well-being of our children and the social systems that impact their lives.

"With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood."
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

This is the work I am called to do in service and in love. And I extend the deepest swells of gratitude to the dear friends who support me on this journey and to the many teachers and leaders who have paved the way for me and others who are on this path of living, learning and loving.

Solstice Lessons on Life and Death

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 04:28:00 +0000

Walking along the beach, I'm drawn into the bramble of a small grove.
Explorer's eyes wide-open. Shells and sea creatures washed ashore catching my attention. A scanning gaze joltingly stops at a large dead bird. A pelican's body, twisted and strewn out. Recently deceased as is evident from the perfections of life still intact.

I'm drawn in by its beauty. The elegant lines of its head, its feathers, fur, colors, shape. And yet... I'm scared to approach it. I circle the perimeter, maintaining a wide distance.

Why? Why must I stand so far away? Why am I afraid to approach this dead bird?

I stand with reverence. A moment of prayer. May you pass peacefully along on your journey.

The beauty beckons me forward. I've never been able to be so close to an animal such as this one. To gaze at its lines and shapes, to drink in the size of its life and presence. And yet I'm resistant. With fear. Why this fear?

I realize that I am afraid that it might not be totally dead yet. If I get close, I may see it move, last grasps at life. Its shape hints at an unexpected death. I project suffering. I recoil from fear of that suffering. If I get close, I might personally feel it. It will make me suffer too. And perhaps even the irrational fear that death will jump up and take me too.

I don't want to see it suffering because I don't want to suffer.
I don't want to die.
I don't want to feel that pain.
So I stay away. I stand back. I create distance.
Somewhere inside me I have been programed that I am doing this for my own protection.

I disagree. Not right now. This moment of beauty and death is calling to me.

I breathe with the realization that in this moment I am afraid to get close and genuinely feel what-is if there is a chance that I will feel suffering.

I must walk in. Walk closer. Push beyond this internally polarized force, repelling and invoking.

I flash to bigger picture, parallel patterns. In order to invite growth, change and transformation I believe that we have to start by accepting what-is, and then discovering what we can love about what-is. Often situations that are in need of transformation and change have a coating of suffering that surrounds the core. To face what-is means to be with that pain and suffering, to feel through that contraction and seemingly awfulness... for only in that acceptance is there room to travel beyond into the opening and fruits of possibility.

And so on this solstice day I dance with the balance of beauty and death, suffering and possibility, my own personal fears and universal patterns. May the light grow increasingly more abundant and may I discover new acceptance in the caverns of the darkness.

The Inner Landscape of Beauty

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 19:06:00 +0000

"Your identity is not equivalent to your biography. There is a place in you where you have never been wounded, where there's a seamlessness in you, and where there is a confidence and tranquility in you, and I think the intention of prayer and spirituality and love is now and again to visit that inner kind of sanctuary."
~ John O'Donohue

"In the Celtic tradition, there is a beautiful understanding of love and friendship. One of the fascinating ideas here is the idea of soul-love; the old Gaelic term for this is anam ċara. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul and ċara is the word for friend. … In the early Celtic church, a person who acted as a teacher, companion, or spiritual guide was called an anam ċara. It originally referred to someone to whom you confessed revealing the hidden intimacies of your life. With the anam ċara you could share your innermost self, your mind, and your heart. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. … In everyone's life there is great need for an anam ċara, a soul friend, in this love you are understood as you are without mask or pretension. Where you are understood, you are at home." ~ From John O'Donohue's book Anam Cara

~ John O'Donohue on Speaking of Faith
~ Commentary from Things That Go Bump in my Head
~ Photo by harold.lloyd

Comfort

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 15:48:00 +0000

Oh, the comfort—

the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person—

having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,

but pouring them all right out,

just as they are,

chaff and grain together;

certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them,

keep what is worth keeping,

and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.

—Dinah Maria Mulock Craik (1826-1887)

Full Moon Ramble in the Rain

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 09:12:00 +0000

the night pulled me awake... the moon pulled me outside.

full moon flow bursting through my soul...
guess I better get out there in it.

bundled up myself and my tender heart.

a sweet, sweet soul-grounding 3am walk in the rain...
after a crazy and surprising day.

rediscovering
listening

noting the forces enticing me to play...

smiling and laughing as I lose and find my way.

art by karabrown

Storybird - Share Your Creativity

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 18:45:00 +0000

Thank You For Helping Me Be Me by ashleycooper, thomasart on Storybird

I love this new website, Storybird, where you can pick from some wonderful and inspiring artwork and then create your own story.

Here are a few more that I've found or that friends have shared with me. If you write one, please do let me know so I can read it. And check back at the website as they seem to be adding new artwork regularly.

A Nourishing Place to Grow

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 14:10:00 +0000

I've just published a new What's Possible? Newsletter. You can read the full newsletter or enjoy the main article below.

I’d like to share with you an experience I had during a recent yoga class. It has become a potent metaphor for me in regards to how we shape nourishing and inviting environments where people can relax, feel connected, learn and grow.

During this yoga class I’m resting in child’s pose. My body is curled into a ball, relaxed and releasing into the ground. My torso, chest, back and head are folded over the bottom half of my body. My shins, knees, the tops of my feet, my forehead and arms are resting on the floor. I am relaxed. Breathing in and out. I sink deeper and deeper into the pose. My brain is calm and at rest.

The instructor invites us to imagine that we are a seed. To feel ourselves as a seed resting deep in the earth. I feel myself let go even more fully. My seed is so light, practically weightless, as if it is floating. And yet paradoxically I can also feel pressure all around me. An encompassing sensation of gravity pulling at me and pressing against me from all directions. In a comforting way, I am engulfed by the moist soil that is holding me in the earth, holding me close. And yet I also feel totally free. I am peacefully a seed. Everything feels right. There is no stress. I let go and fall into my surroundings. I feel open, trusting and free.

And then the instructor invites us to imagine that our seed is getting ready to sprout. I start to feel the initial inner stirrings, the impulse to grow. Something inside me is awakening. Sparks are firing. Energy is stirring. Every part of my insides begin to tingle, in all directions, 360 degrees, three dimensionally, all my cells are humming with potential. I feel a tension pulsing against the edges of my seed coating. While this frenetic energy is growing inside me, I still feel gracefully held in the utterly calm stillness and nourishing surroundings of the earth. My surroundings continue to support me. I trust this ground to hold me and I keep relaxing into it, feeling safe and letting go. I don’t have to do anything but be a seed. The creative energy continues to purr inside me.

I feel an aliveness of beauty and potential growing inside of me. I know that when the time is right, my seed will break open into the vast unknown, moving beyond the protective boundary and allowing all this potent energy to unfold. I can feel that my seed wants to grow and it will do just that. It does not need to be forced. It simply needs a nourishing environment in which to rest. The earth is holding and nourishing me in such a comforting way, and thus I am free to let myself expand and grow.

As a seed held in the grace of the moment, my only task was to relax into myself. The more I did that, the stronger the inner stirrings of potential and creative force became inside of me. Where have you or your child felt so held in the grace of the moment that it was safe to relax deeper into yourself? How can we create more places like that? What opportunities might you provide for yourself and others to experience and give life to the potent creative force within?

As adults we have much influence and power over the environments in which children live and interact. We can create places where children feel welcomed to be themselves, where they are contained in ways that allow them to be open and free -- this is our response-ability. This makes room for them to connect with their deep inner stirrings and relate to the nutrient-rich world around them. This is not about over-protecting and shielding them from bad weather. This is about mindfully attending to the spaces in which they are living and growing, supporting them as they connect with their own interior landscape and impulses to learn.

How can we create more places where people recognize that they are held in the grace of the moment, feel safe to relax deeper into themselves, and thus are able to give life to that potent creative force within? Where have you experienced being held in such a way? What makes a place feel welcoming, inclusive, and safe for you to let yourself be and grow? In what environments do you notice your child feeling such freedom and creative expression? I would love to hear your reflections.

Bulb paintings are by KaraBrownLovesArt.

If you would like to subscribe to future newsletters, please sign up here.

Woa ~ Pure Excitement

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 17:01:00 +0000

A little boy's pure excitement, a dash of astonishment with a tinge of fear... ahhh, the emotional smorgasbord that accompanies making contact with something new and unknown.

Thanks Thomas for this link and for the contagious awe that it's left me with... and hopefully you too!

~ ~ ~ ~

And after posting this I saw that this is my 600th post here at Easily Amazed... and today also happens to be the 6th birthday of Easily Amazed. Woa! Wow!

All I can feel is that little boy saying, "Can I touch it?" with excitement and desire and then feeling his fear of what is it? and answering his own question with "no!"

That's very similar to my journey of writing here. So often I feel the strong impulse to share something deep from my heart or right at the edges of my thinking. I bubble with excitement at the challenge to put words to these sensations and thoughts and at the opportunity to share my experiences or perceptions with others. And then when the publishing time comes I will often feel a hesitation and What am I doing? Can I really share this? Does this make any sense? Unlike the little boy, I do touch it. I press publish and a little part of me grows just a wee bit more as a result of putting myself out there!

Thank you, Easily Amazed, for giving me the opportunity to open into this world of writing. Thank you soooo much to everyone out there who reads this. Your presence has been significant and influential in my development... I sincerely mean that. The comments I've received over the years, the conversations with people who read this webl, the inspiration that provokes many of the postings, and all my curiosity about those that are here reading but have never let me know that you are... it's a fascinating and wonderful experience to feel the life that circulates around this website!!

And special thank you to Thomas who has been an emotional, intellectual and super-special editorial support these last few years. Seriously, I ask him to read over so much of what I write and he's so gracious about giving me helpful feedback. Thank you!

Happy Birthday Easily Amazed... Woa... Wow!!

Rest in Peace, Jerry Fuchs

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:25:00 +0000

It's been awhile since I was this inspired by reading about another person's life. Death has a way of doing that - inviting people to articulate what is most preciously present in their hearts. I am currently being drawn into the comments and articles being written about Jerry Fuchs. Continuously I am moved to tears by what an incredible human it seems he was and how wonderful that he was alive so fully for as long as he was. I am flooded with emotion by how capable some people are of living in a way that is a genuine gift to those they come in contact with. As individuals we are capable of having such an impact on others and it is clear that Jerry Fuchs lived his life in a profoundly enlivening and inspiring way that added so much to the world. I can only imagine the shock and devastation that his family and friends are feeling right now and I continue to send blessings of love and support to them during this shocking and devastating time. And I am thankful that it feels like he is one of those people who has left everyone still alive with palpable memories of his love and presence that will hopefully remain close and real for them. From one friend of his:

"You were truly one of a kind, and whether you knew it or not, people wanted to be in the same room as you, or near the same room as you, because maybe just maybe, some of that radiant joy and in-the-moment spirit you exuded would rub off on them. You didn’t take it all with you, because there are a lot of people today who are going to feel mighty responsible to carry and spread that joy with them for the rest of the time they have here. And who knows now how long that might be. You were a really good drummer, some might say the best we had, but you were a greater friend. I love you and miss you, Jerry."

I knew Jerry in high school. I didn't know him well at all. He was a couple of years older and greatly looked up to by my group of friends. He was a genuinely sweet and approachable guy with so much beauty and talent. And so we adored him! Clearly that's continued to be the story of his life though I would say more than being adored, he was highly respected and extremely influential and inspiring to many, many people around the world.

He died in a tragic freak accident this weekend. The internet is being flooded with reports of his death as he was a well known drummer. I am learning that his talent was tremendous, stated as one of the best drummers ever by many. And yet all the comments and articles that are written by people that knew him (from acquaintances, journalists, band members, fans and friends all over the world) people are consistently addressing the depth of what a genuinely kind, friendly and considerate human he was. It seems that it doesn't matter if people knew him well or not. I get the feeling that if someone had any contact with him they walked away with the sense of heart connection that comes along with being 'really close' to someone. It sounds like he was a guy that was genuinely available and willing to connect fully with whoever and whatever was in front of him. As I said, I am deeply inspired and moved as I'm sure you will understand when you read the comments below that are filling me up with so much love, admiration, and respect.

"Always considerate. Always polite. Always thinking of others. Always had a good time and ensured a good time. So enthusiastic and passionate. Our lives are different than how they would have been if we had never known him and will be different now that he is gone. THANK YOU JERRY."

"A true friend and exuberant, buoyant spirit."

"It’s hard to believe, there was something so PRESENT about Jerry that it’s almost impossible to believe he’s gone. It’s the passion he brought to his performance, he struck me as wholeheartedly committed to what he was doing, no matter who he was playing with."

"What a talented and totally genuine person he was."

"I was able to catch up with Jerry in Detroit last month when he was on tour with Maserati – that night alone made me realize how much I loved that dude beyond his musically ability, but his love for making people like myself realize that life really isn’t that bad, even if I did suck at bowling."

"I know exactly what you mean about inspiration. Seeing Jerry play always makes you want to find something difficult to do and do it. I didn’t know him but whenever I saw him play drums I wanted to go out and achieve something."

"I'll miss you Jerry, when I hear thunder I will know that is you up in the sky tearing the shit out of the drums."

May you pass peacefully along on your journey, Jerry, and may your love and presence continue to blossom in the hearts of those who have been graced by your life.

All Swirled Into One

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:30:00 +0000

To be honest, I am often fascinated by my experience of being alive. As in, easily amazed! So I guess this time right now of living in the process of so many major life transitions is no exception. And yet, it's definitely new for me. I wish I could easily put words to the nuances and extreme spectrum of feelings and experiences I'm having. I can't do it easily, but I will give it a try!

As a whole, I feel like I'm living many different lives all swirled into one. They blur in and out of each other, overlapping, building upon, disappearing and re-emerging. It's an exhilarating party of experiences. The old joining with the new, familiar and unfamiliar, light and dark... it's very exciting.

And then at other times all the parts don't feel like one life at all. They become compartmentalized. For a moment I'll only be able to feel one thread. Intellectually I know that the others are still there, but a feeling of anxiety will narrow my perception.

It feels like a dance between harmony and chaos. In the frames of chaos, while they feel aggravating and invasive, I get to see the specifics of that particular thread that is holding me down or confining me. Like a mirror that has shattered into many fragments. I get to rest in one shard and notice the details of what it looks and feels like. What is being reflected back to me? I learn its uniqueness. And during the melodic phases it all spins together, the colors blending, creating a new beauty that is birthed from all the connections.

In my heart and body, this all plays out through a huge spectrum of emotions that I feel, that catch me, control me, tickle me and invite me to pay attention. Sometimes the pace at which I swing from one end of the feeling spectrum to the other is fascinating. I'll fly in open-ended freedom sparkling with possibility, promise and potential. Confidence glowing through me. Excitement adding pep to my step. Joy twinkling out the corner of my eye and life wrapping me in an inner smile.

And then suddenly that openness is abruptly punctuated with a barreling thud of doubt and anxiety. Mischievously those contracting emotions creep into my skin and bones, throbbing through my heart and thoughts in unexpected moments. They burrow into my eye brows, yank at my heart, tug me down, spin me into confusion, agitation, uhggg, huh?, and not quite right. A shot of insecurity is injected into my blood stream. Without knowing it, I begin to take myself, my life, my experiences oh-so SERIOUSLY!! (and fortunately, even when all of this is going on, there is a steady constant of content. Of trust. Of knowing that it's all just right.) And yet... I'm feeling the effects of taking myself so-very seriously!!

and then...
ack-a-lacka- splack
spiff, pooof, a wac wac

{shake, shake, shake, shake}

My love for life comes funneling back

The journey feels a bit like an amusement park. Riding the rides, roller coasters flying up and down, tumbling this way and that. Pure joy and passion is the ground where I stand and yet underneath there is an intermittent thrum of fear that surfaces, mumbling rhythms of 'you're not doing it right'... Continuously inviting me to slow down. Notice what's happening. Accept. Love what-is. Rest in stillness. And before I know it, I've moved onto the next ride!

I was on a walk one morning after a particularly emotionally/energetically active and aggressive day. I had this feeling that I was disintegrating. I could feel the spaciousness in my body and cells. An airiness. Pieces breaking apart and disappearing, a field of emptiness present within me... as me. A peaceful calm. I felt how clearly the only thing that mattered was the step that I was taking. And the next step. And the next breath. Exactly what I was supposed to do was to take in, really savor, each moment and the environment around me and inside of me.

I then had the realization that I had no typical identity handles to hold onto. I don't have the habits of being that generally help to shape my identity. In that moment I had no job or profession. No significant other. No home that was my own (I'm 'boarding' in another family's house). No active community that I was tightly woven into. None of those typical outwardly obvious things that one might generally define themself by. I had me. I had life. And this step. And the next, and the next.

This recognition helped me open deeper into a breath of rest. Here it is. I'm living in the unknown. There is little habit or familiarity hinting at what might come in the next moment for me. There aren't the usuals to predict or inform. And yet... there really still are. And here I am. Living what-is. Learning to love what-is in new ways. Continuously being reminded to be gentle with myself and to be patient.

That's a sliver of my inner world.

Many photos are from my Flavors of Life album
Swinging in the Sky by McMorr
Roller Coaster Thrill by Carlos Lorenzo
Path - Should I follow? by Azzazello

Driving Across the Country

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 03:05:00 +0000

Images that Express Play

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:31:00 +0000

What images do you connect with the word play? Is there a photo, symbol, or drawing that evokes a playful experience within you just by looking at it?

Please share links in the comments or email them to me if they aren't already online. Thank you!

Celebrating Life

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 14:54:00 +0000

My soul is glowing with recognition, opening wide in awe and wonder and resting in familiarity as I experience Autumn emerging in the mountains of Appalachia. The leaves are changing with their bright life bursting forth, one last powerful hurrah before they let loose, releasing into the heart of winter. It's such an honor to be here for this process. It invites in me to celebrate the exuberance of life and the beauty of change!

(ooh, the photos seem to lose their punchy color in these images. They are a bit better when you click on them... and if I played with them, they'd be even better... another time!)

Baking Cookies for the Neighbors

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 16:57:00 +0000

When is the last time you baked cookies for a neighbor or cooked some extra dinner and took it to a friend who is struggling to find time to cook? Did you know that doing such activities for others is actually a way to increase the health and well-being of your own children and family? I read an inspiring newsletter this morning on social capital and the value of reaching out to our neighbors. While the newsletter was not intended strictly for parents, it reminded me of the 5 Protective Factors that parents need in order to parent effectively, even under stress, and to diminish the likelihood of child abuse and neglect. This is according to extensive research conducted by Strengthening Families. One of the protective factors is Social Connections. Parents need “friends, family members, neighbors and other members of a community who provide emotional support and concrete assistance to” them.

“Social connections build parents’ “social capital,” their network of others in the community—family, friends, neighbors, churches, etc.—whom they can call on for help solving problems. Friendships lead to mutual assistance in obtaining resources that all families need from time to time, including transportation, respite child care, and other tangible assistance as well as emotional support. Helping parents build constructive friendships and other positive connections can reduce their isolation, which is a consistent risk factor in child abuse and neglect. Isolation is a problem in particular for family members who are in crisis or need intensive help, such as victims of domestic violence.” (source)

With that in mind, below are some ideas from the newsletter: Engage in Dough Diplomacy - Bake Cookies for a Neighbor from Center for a New American Dream

Taking action by supporting legislation or greening your home is important, but don't forget that we can also take action in our social lives. New Dream has always believed that change begins with our everyday choices: investing in relationships builds happier people and a stronger community--and may be good for your health. Which is why we're asking you to bring a neighbor some cookies.

Between the mid 1980's and the 1990's, Americans' openness to making new friends declined by about a third. A 2000 Harvard study found that one-third of Americans no longer participate in social activities like inviting people to their home or visiting relatives. Reaching out to others doesn't just add meaning to our lives--it's part of what makes up social capital, the shared values and trust that keep a society together and running smoothly.

Luckily, it doesn't take a lot of your own capital to simply bake some cookies (or any other treat) and share them with a neighbor you don't know. Think of it as the most fun and delicious way to make the world into what you want it to be: an open, trusting place full of people who will wave to you on the sidewalk. As a family activity, making and sharing homemade goodies is a way to have more face-to-face time and less screen time. So go ahead--knock on that door and then tell us what happened and how it made you feel.

cookies photo by emilybean

This post originally appeared at Community of Mindful Parents.

Writing, Writing She's Everywhere!!

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:01:00 +0000

Hello Easily Amazed Friends,

I've been doing a lot of writing lately in this intricate inter-net, inner-net world. Here's a run down of where you can find more pieces of me, in case you're interested!!

I've started an email newsletter. It is predominantly about social and emotional well-being for children, adults and groups. However, it's Ashley-style so hopefully a balanced mix of practical information and practices along with opportunities to sink into the concepts and creatively imagine what might be possible. The newsletter began last month. You can read the first issue here. And the second issue that went out today here. If you like what you read, sign yourself up so that future editions are delivered to your very own email inbox!

This is a new website where I have agreed to be a guest writer. Here are some inspiring words from it's founder, Yaffa Maritz, that will make it perfectly clear to you why I've agreed to participate.

"Imagine a world where people treat each other with compassion and differences are embraced. Curiosity, kindness, and creativity guide us and a fine balance is achieved between a healthy sense of individual self and thriving communities. This is not a utopia. Research already shows us that it can be achieved one kid at a time.

However, it requires what we are building here together; a thoughtful and intentional community of parents who will support each other through learning and growing and by engaging in mindful discussion, sharing relevant resources, and having discussions with professionals. Together it will create a momentum for a kinder and gentler presence in this precious world!"

I've been slowly updating my website, hopefully making it more expressive of both the heart and soul of who I am and the specific details of what I do. I probably should wait until I'm happy with all of the pages to point your eyes to it, but I'm not going to. Here it is! I've updated my bio. If you read it and have some feedback, please send it my way. Still to come is a more comprehensive explanation of Social Emotional Consulting. I also hope to update the Life Coaching and Family Coaching pages because with each client I work with, I learn more about the potency and potential that comes alive when we are in these kinds of relationships, working together to learn and grow. You can peek back at those in a couple of months!

Thomas is constantly playing with words and discovering all kinds of treasures that exist in words we look at all of the time. One of his favorites is repeating the word earth or heart over and over again. earthearthearthearthearthearth
Earth, heart, hearth, hear the art, ear all show up. I wanted a bumper sticker with this sentiment to put on my car as I journey through life. (I get that driving my car across country doesn't exactly support this sentiment) We created a sticker and you too can buy one if you'd like at our Cafe Press store. Perhaps you can adhere yours without leaving little bubbles as I did (as seen in the picture!).

I think that's it for new adventures. In case you weren't aware, I also have a couple of other blogs that I don't update nearly as frequently.

This one is completely geared towards relating with children, parents and educators.

This site is a compilation of different people sharing rituals they do to support healthy living. They've written about activities or behaviors they do regularly for the purpose of bringing value to their well-being. It only gets updated when someone shares a new ritual. Do you have one to add to the site? It could be anything.

A Bright Welcome to This New Year

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 16:09:00 +0000

"Release painful patterns through embrace and not through struggle. We open our hearts to ourselves, each other and to the Universal Presence in which we are sustained. On the brink of this new year, we awaken to renewed choice. We seek the thoughts, images, feelings and actions that will more clearly reflect the Loving and Peaceful Heart always at the center of our being."

~ Bet Alef High Holy Day Prayer Book

Last night began the Jewish holiday of Rosh Hashanah. This marks the beginning of a new year and according to the Jewish calendar it is the year 5770. Rabbi Ted Falcon pointed out that this is a one-year (add the numbers up until you get to a single digit). A one-year symbolizes the beginning. We are at the beginning of a new cycle right now. What kind of a cycle do we want to create in our lives, in our communities, on this planet? What impact might we have if we actively take responsibility for how we grow into this New Year? Wouldn't it be amazing if as Rabbi Ted said, this could be the "big one year" in which we realize our oneness?

And so I ask myself: What thoughts, images, feelings and actions do I want to live this year? How will I more clearly reflect the loving and peaceful heart always at the center of my being? How will I more clearly see and reflect the loving and peaceful heart always at the center of your being? Of our collective being? What does it feel like for me to open my heart more fully to myself, others and the source that sustains me and us? This year, I will discover new ways to wake up, recognize and live the fullness of who I am, the depth of my yearnings, the bright vision and sense of possibility that I see.

"This is a year that needs you to be you."
~ Rabbi Ted Falcon

These are the questions I will be resting in today and for the next 9 days until Yom Kippur - meditating, listening, setting intentions, singing, dancing and dreaming what's possible into being. I will follow Rabbi Ted's instructions that it is my job right now to dream the biggest dreams and see visions as large as I can. I will do this for the sake of being an active servant to life, nourishing love, peace, healing, and wholeness in the world. This year the universe needs me to be me. Rabbi Ted invites us to ask ourselves,

"What am I being called to bring to this time?"

I think about Chris Corrigan's recent post about intention... Now is a time to cultivate action that is rooted in intention and to keep asking, "What is my life dedicated to?”

If any of these questions spark something in your heart, please listen and follow that spark!! And if you'd like to share what emerges, I'd love to hear.

Playing in the Waves

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 17:53:00 +0000

My life feels very interesting right now!! Some personal story telling.

In the Fall of 2004, as I was finishing up graduate school, I was in communication with a non-profit that worked with teenagers in foster care. This program was located in North Carolina and they were expanding to include a camp for youth and families. Among other things, part of their aim was to provide these children a consistent place and community where they could return each season, reuniting in their village, held by the wilderness, joining with a community of peers and self-discovery mentors while uncovering even more of the wonders of their being and the gifts they behold. The hope was that they would receive support, find strength in their sense of self and feel like they belonged, providing ground for them as they prepared for the often abandoning process of aging out of the system. And most importantly, that they would know a genuine sense of home.

I was deeply engaged in the creative process of this new camp being born and had the great fortune of writing my own job description that was enthusiastically embraced. I was astonished by the blessings unfolding. About to receive a Masters of Education in counseling, here I was creating my dream job and being invited to live it. Wow! Amazing!

And... life is always filled with surprises! In November of 2004 I traveled to North Carolina to help facilitate staff training and to meet the team. And then in early December there was a sudden shift. Things had changed and this perfect unfolding of what was to be next in my life had another course in mind. I would not be working at the camp after all. Time to recalibrate.

So in January of 2005 instead of returning to North Carolina (where I had been living before attending graduate school in Texas), I set off on an adventure into the unknown. I stuffed my three new letters (M.Ed.) into my glove box and set out to experience the Pacific Northwest. I had many friends and colleagues between Seattle, Washington and Vancouver, Canada. At two other points in my history I had almost moved out to the northwest. It felt like now was the time to explore this region and see if it wanted to invite me to stay.

My plan was simple, give what I have to give whenever I can, wherever I am. Offer my skills and talents. Be open to what's possible. Notice what emerges. Follow my heart when I hear something calling. I gave myself 6 months to try out living in this way and to see if I wanted to live in that part of the country. I figured if I was genuinely giving whenever I could something in the form of a job would open up. What else could the universe want of me? And if no job or practical plan emerged, well then I would hit the classifieds and take the traditional route at the end of that 6 months. Travels and visits unfolded... and in May I was offered a phenomenal job at a school in Seattle with a beautiful mixture of creative freedom in program development, a variety of ways to use my skills and talents, the joy of working with children and adults, and being in a thriving community of learners. And so began the next chapter of my life... the chapter which wrapped up this June.

I'm reliving the a fore mentioned pattern of surfing in the unknown, giving what I have to give, dreaming, listening, noticing, learning and following "the spark of yes." This morning a big belly laugh of surprise caught me when I ran across the job description for the camp that I wrote in October of 2004. It actually splashed me in the face with an awe-inspiring, cosmic-laugh that barked: of course! The job description is posted below and the humor is in how clearly it expresses the path I am on right now, articulating the kind of work I would like to do more of wherever I end up landing next. You can compare it to the document that I wrote in June of this year (along with other information at my current website) talking about some of my current interests, passions and offerings. You might also notice that somehow in these last 4 years I got a lot more wordy! (grin)

I'll be leaving the Seattle area on September 29th coming full circle as I head to North Carolina. Please feel free to help me dream forward a lively future and stay tuned as I continue swimming in the unknown, riding the waves of excitement and anxiety while holding sacred my dedication to follow my heart, practice deep listening and keep on learning!

Job Description

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 21:26:00 +0000

A job description that I wrote in October of 2004, outlining the role I would like to play in a newly developing organization. Still holds true for today.

Job Description

Attending to the mental, social, emotional, and spiritual health of the system. This involves supporting and nourishing the well-being of individuals, sub-systems (youth, staff, social workers, parents, etc.), and the system as a whole.
Advocate for staff and youth

Staff-- A link person that aims to be aware of needs, wishes, desires, stresses, strengths, support systems, etc. of staff members and attempts to keep communication open and flowing throughout the system. A facilitator of clear communication. Each member comes with their specialties and areas of interest to which they are committed and invested. My role is to be guided by the big picture while attending to relational needs of the system.

Dreaming Groups-- Facilitating staff groups which align individual’s health, gifts, visions, and dreams with the group and larger organization’s visions, intentions, mission, and purpose.

Youth involvement— visible presence when camp is in session. A known resource to the children as an unbiased, completely accepting person available for individual or group counseling or mediation on an as-needed basis.

Therapist Support— Work cooperatively with licensed therapist, ensuring that therapeutic components of philosophy and programs are complementary and sound throughout all aspects of the program. Available to provide therapeutic services as needed and desired by licensed therapist.
Philosophy and program planning – Using education and therapeutic knowledge to assist in philosophy and program planning. Providing support by recognizing areas in need of greater attention and detail and keeping the momentum forward-moving, activating.
Parenting groups – Time would be needed to research specific needs of foster and adoptive parents, incorporating them into the Filial Therapy structure and creating a new course. An ideal situation would be to be trained as a trainer for mandated parenting courses within the foster system and infuse his course with the therapeutic components of filial therapy.
Staff Training—involved in planning and facilitating staff training. Providing continual staff development based on the needs, concerns, and weaknesses of the staff.
Workshops and Retreats – Organizing workshops and retreats for parents, social workers, and staff.

What would you call this position?

Our Oceans Are Filled With Plastic: They Are Experiencing How Bad It Really Is

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 05:31:00 +0000

Five media artists, led by photographer Chris Jordan, are traveling to Midway to witness the catastrophic effect of our disposable culture on some of the world’s most beautiful and symbolic creatures. But even more, they are embarking on an introspective journey to confront a vitally relevant question: In this time of unprecedented global crisis, how can we move through grief, denial, despair and immobility into new territories of acceptance, possibility, and wise action?
~ The Midway Journey

Chris Jordan's wish "is to get out of [his] own way for long enough that the symbolic tragedy that is happening on Midway can speak for itself, on its own terms."

"This morning I took off early by bike with camera gear on my back, and explored an abandoned World War II runway littered with the decaying carcasses of albatrosses—virtually all of their bellies filled with plastic junk. Talking and reading about it from home was one thing, but seeing it here in person carries a much different feeling. I made my first photograph, and felt myself sink one increment into the profound story that this island has to tell." ~Chris Jordan

"According to U.S. Fish and Wildlife rangers, albatross bring almost five tons of plastic to Pihemanu/Midway every year. The ocean is permeated with plastic and, like dust floating in the air, it’s mostly invisible to us. Albatross concentrate this plastic junk in their bodies and deposit it on land when they die. A Hawaiian elder counseled us not to view the albatross or the islands as victims of plastic pollution. They have called this problem to them, she said, to deliver us a message. We are hit with this message every day. When can we say we’re receiving it?" ~Victoria Sloan Jordan

The Midway Journey Blog
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A Baby's Unconditional Trust and Love

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 20:11:00 +0000

photo by Alyssa L. Miller (no relation to people in the story)

A Baby's Unconditional Trust and Love -- A Kindness Story
--written by rettak at HelpOthers.org

We were the only family with children in the restaurant. I sat Erik in a high chair and noticed everyone was quietly sitting and talking. Suddenly, Erik squealed with glee and said, 'Hi.' He pounded his fat baby hands on the high chair tray. His eyes were crinkled in laughter and his mouth was bared in a toothless grin, as he wriggled and giggled with merriment.

I looked around and saw the source of his merriment. It was a man whose pants were baggy with a zipper at half-mast and his toes poked out of would-be shoes. His shirt was dirty and his hair was uncombed and unwashed. His whiskers were too short to be called a beard and his nose was so varicose it looked like a road map. We were too far from him to smell, but I was sure he smelled.

His hands waved and flapped on loose wrists. 'Hi there, baby; hi there, big boy. I see ya, buster,' the man said to Erik. My husband and I exchanged looks, 'What do we do?' Erik continued to laugh and answer, 'Hi.'

Everyone in the restaurant noticed and looked at us and then at the man. The old geezer was creating a nuisance with my beautiful baby. Our meal came and the man began shouting from across the room, 'Do ya patty cake? Do you know peek-a-boo? Hey, look, he knows peek- a-boo.' Nobody thought the old man was cute. He was obviously drunk.

My husband and I were embarrassed. We ate in silence; all except for Erik, who was running through his repertoire for the admiring skid-row bum, who in turn, reciprocated with his cute comments.

We finally got through the meal and headed for the door. My husband went to pay the check and told me to meet him in the parking lot. The old man sat poised between me and the door. 'Lord, just let me out of here before he speaks to me or Erik,' I prayed.

As I drew closer to the man, I turned my back trying to sidestep him and avoid any air he might be breathing. As I did, Erik leaned over my arm, reaching with both arms in a baby's 'pick-me-up' position. Before I could stop him, Erik had propelled himself from my arms to the man.

Suddenly a very old smelly man and a very young baby consummated their love and kinship. Erik in an act of total trust, love, and submission laid his tiny head upon the man's ragged shoulder. The man's eyes closed, and I saw tears hover beneath his lashes. His aged hands full of grime, pain, and hard labor, cradled my baby's bottom and stroked his back. No two beings have ever loved so deeply for so short a time.

I stood awestruck. The old man rocked and cradled Erik in his arms and his eyes opened and set squarely on mine. He said in a firm commanding voice, 'You take care of this baby.' Somehow I managed, 'I will,' from a throat that contained a stone.

He pried Erik from his chest, lovingly and longingly, as though he were in pain. I received my baby, and the man said, 'God bless you, ma'am, you've given me my Christmas gift.' I said nothing more than a muttered thanks.

With Erik in my arms, I ran for the car. My husband was wondering why I was crying and holding Erik so tightly, and why I was saying, 'My God, my God, forgive me.'

I had just witnessed real love shown through the innocence of a tiny child who saw no sin, who made no judgment; a child who saw a soul, and a mother who saw a suit of clothes. I was blind, holding a child who was not.

What’s your pocket wisdom?

noreply@blogger.com (ashley) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 15:02:00 +0000

Do you carry important words, quotes or poems around with you? Simple phrases that inspire you to live authentically and compassionately, taking time to breathe and experience as much of life as possible? If so, what are they?

And for the rest of us, are there a few words or phrases that inspire you, remind you to be vibrantly alive, help you feel joyful, content and accepting, invite you to be present and grateful? If you could carry just a few precious words or phrases around in your pocket, always having them there to reference and learn from, what would those be? What words would you carry?

graphic by wordle